Christmas Concert!

My Arctic Fox!    ^ ^  Video

Too much anxiety.

Porch Monster

I'm too hyped up on sugar to write a real post.

But I just had to share this picture of my boys in all their Halloween finery, under the Porch Monster that hubby created.

Pure Awesomeness

 But let's look a bit closer, shall we... Felix is off doing his own gymnastic-y thing, but some key details are being overlooked...

The samurai is all YIEEEEEEEE!

And the vampire's all VLAUUGHHHHHH!

Just try to keep a straight face while looking at this. I dare you. Hubby and I have been giggling like school girls since I downloaded it and zoomed in. It really does capture the essence of their relationship. Well, minus the samurai sword about to lop off kiddo's head. Those are usually only figurative.

So I'm going to lurch myself up to bed so I can keep my hands out of the boys' treat bags. I promise.
Until next time, catch up on our past Halloween's here, here & here

How can this be?

12 days old

Today he turns 5. Someone please tell me how to turn back the clock? It's racing past, much too quickly.

Dear Elliot,

Life has gotten far too hectic of late, but this is a placeholder promise that I will write you a birthday letter asap. Of course, we all know how well that's gone for your brother. Soon, my precious. I promise.

Love,

Mama
(Or Mamush, as you've taken to calling me)

Self-portrait

And while you're waiting on me to get my shit together, go catch up on the 3rd birthday & birth story post, and last year's letter.

Snippets

Let's see. Last week, Elliot started school and Felix started preschool. Oh, and I started school, as well.

So things have been busy 'round these parts.

~~
I have class 3 days a week. It's only 8 hours, but it's a 1 hour commute each way, if I take public transit. About 20 minutes if I drive and then another 10 or so to find parking. I haven't had enough class time to figure out if I'll do well, but I think I'm going to like it, which is something, at least. We spent the first class throwing stuffed animals at each other, learning everyone's names.

1st day. Thanks, hubby.

~~
Felix's stitch-saga continues. Last week, we went to have them removed. Yeah right. First off, we couldn't see his usual doctor. This new doctor was all, "It's too early to take them out." And, "If you don't let me take them out they're going to grow out of the side of your face." I held him down, the doc tried to tweeze and snip, Felix thrashed and screamed, terrified. Elliot climbed the walls and put things in his mouth. I was totally and completely frazzled. In the end, we got one stitch out. One - of three. He'd been promised a lollipop, because I knew they had them in the office. But then the doc said he didn't have any and I should ask at the front desk.

Asshat.

We did track down some lollies and went home, in the rain. And hopped right in the car to go to my mom's birthday dinner. The boys convinced her new husband to light the candles on the cake and sing happy birthday before the meal. And then we did it again, when the boys were watching TV, once the guests had arrived and after our meal. With 2 pieces missing from the cake. Good times.

Two days later, we went back to see yet another doctor. I was prepared. EMLA cream applied, to numb the area. A new Lightening McQueen bribe dinky car. A full jar of lollipops sitting on the desk next to him. A different way of holding him and a much quicker - and warmer - doctor wielding the tools.

We got stitch number 2 out. She said she couldn't see the third, that it must have fallen out. I pointed out a faint blue mark sticking out from the scab. She probed it, declared it residual dye and sent us away.

Yeah. The scab has fallen off, revealing very plainly, 2 pieces of blue thread poking out of his little face. I really don't want to go through that all again, but seriously, how long can he go around with surgical thread sticking out of his cheek?

*sigh* Back we'll go. But not this week. This week is full.

Cool dude.

~~
I'm hosting an open house here on Wednesday evening. I sell spices. The new catalogue is out. Good times. Of course this means I need to clean the place from top to bottom.  No idea how many guests will arrive. Oh the clutter and grime I need to banish. Daunting.

~~
Oh, and today we receive this note from Elliot's teacher:

Elliot is settling into classroom routines nicely.  He is following directions, listening to stories, enjoying centres and is doing well in terms of independent work. As I'm sure you know, he loves to read and reads well. He has enjoyed independent reading times and today's Book Buddies. Centres has gone well with him and today, he had a great time creating a drawing and even made one for his friend and put it in her mailbox. I know he is a very sweet boy.

Unfortunately, Elliot is having some difficulties during unstructured times outside. Recess has been challenging for him and he has been hitting other children.  He is not always honest about this behaviour when he is asked---even when a teacher witnessed him hitting other children with no provocation. Today, he grabbed and held onto a child's nose in the meeting area just as the children came in to sit down. Other than that, he has done very well in the classroom. Elliot is full of hugs for me and I've seen him hug other children in class. I don't see him frustrated and am wondering if you've been experiencing/witnessing this aggression as well?

Just perfect. This is on the heels of him being banned from gymnastics - by us, not the facility. But it was a close call. I looked down from the parental observation area to see him running willy-nilly, being chased by instructors and then he started hitting and kicking, running away, climbing tall-and-not-age-appropriate equipment. I had to chase him through the whole structure, arms full of our bags, squishing into the padded mats while he laughed at me and danced out of reach. He refused to participate in class and wanted to make up his own rules. Later he said he didn't like the crowd of kids. And then changed his story and said he didn't mind them, it was the new teachers he didn't like. 


Gymnastics isn't new for him. But half way through the last session, he started doing stuff like this, refusing to do the class, etc. We debated putting him back in - when he would participate, he'd love it. But it would often take 30 minutes of cajoling to get him out there, or he'd run right out, happy as can be and then start crying and balking and asking to leave half way through. Still, we tried it again. Shouldn't have bothered. 

He says there are older boys at school, in his class, who take his hat and toss it around, laughing at him. he says there's a bully who makes fun of him. He says that sometimes the play chase, just for fun. Sometimes it's not fun. Today he was throwing rocks. He scratched a teacher in the after-school program and punched another one. After he calmed down, he hugged the teachers. And then was fine, his happy, sweet alter ego. 

I hope his teacher has some insights. He told us tonight that it's not him doing these mean things, that it's 2 other boys who wear the same clothes as him, whose parents spy on him to see what he's wearing so they can match their boys. Imaginative, huh.  I think he's been reading too many Calvin & Hobbes comics. 


~~
The boys had their first sleep over this past weekend. Went to my mom's. It was awesome. Hubby and I drank champagne, slept deep and went out for breakfast. The best part? Mom doesn't seem afraid to do it again!

~~
So it's been full. I'm worried about Elliot and school. Worried that he's going to be labeled. Worried we've gone horribly wrong in our parenting. And then he does something so sweet, like sneaking into my room after he's been tucked in bed for the night to sing me a lullaby about my day. Then I smile, wipe my tears and think we've done ok by him after all.

Lullaby and goodnight
You are so very sleepy
You had a long day
You stayed home 
While me and Felix went to school.
We played outside
You came to get us
We came home and played with daddy
You went out for a meeting
and now it's time for sleep.
(to the tune of Braham's Lullaby)

My sweet, smiley boy.

~~

I’m posting this to enter a contest for a $500 apple gift card, offered by Cashier Live, a point of sale software company, at Indie Biz Chicks. Enter to win here. But don't... 'cause I wanna win! How awesome would this be for school?

Eight down

One week left before summer vacation is over.

"The days are long and the years are short." Is a quote from Tina Fey's Bossypants (go read it, highly enjoyable!) It's attributed back to stay at home parents and sex trade workers. And it's very true.

What did we do this week? It's passed in a blur. I have to refer back to Facebook and my iPhoto to piece it all together.

It seems that Monday was an emotional and adventure filled day.

And Tuesday, well we hung around the house in the morning and then took the car to be serviced in the afternoon. Found a playground, essentially in the projects on the other side of the harbour. The boys loved it! I was anxious with the rougher crowd passing through and milling around, but that's just me being hyper-vigilant, as I'm wont to do. Felix did give me a scare, when I'd turned back from putting the camera away and saw him dangling from the climbing structure, his bare toes still a good 4 feet from the ground. He was having fun practicing 'gymnastics'.

Wednesday morning, Felix had a discouraging visit at the allergy clinic. We've been told to feed him whatever he wants. If his eczema flares, just treat it. Keep his body hydrated and his skin moisturized. That the family history, list of symptoms and random reactions don't indicate an allergy. Which is great news! But still leaves us back at the beginning. We're doing an egg challenge. So far, no reaction. Which means we have no idea what caused the full body rash, twice.

I promised the boys a new playground after the appointment, so we headed to a new-to-them one on the way home, chatting it up and building anticipation the whole way there. Well, that was disappointing.

They were only working on the border, not the equipment. But wouldn't let the boys play. Tears ensued.

So we went home, packed a picnic and headed to the lake. I braved it by myself but won't do that again soon, despite really wanting to go back! Felix is fearless in the water and Elliot is a limpet. They both had lifejackets, but needed an adult beside them, always. And then there was the whining. And the perma-injury mode Felix seemed to be stuck in, falling off the play structure twice and then skinning his elbow in the parking lot.

Thursday the sitter came. I sat in a cafe with goodies and free wifi then went shopping and met with the Registrar to discuss my school schedule.

Friday it was supposed to rain. Precursor to hurricane Irene, who was making her way up the coast. We watched TV, everyone on edge, then I tossed them in the car and we ran errands. It was stinky humid and then the sun came out, so we stopped at a playground on the way home. Felix was adamant that I watch his baby while he played.

Mmmmmm, Baby Banana Bread

Saturday afternoon we packed up and headed to a provincial park for family swimming. The boys fell asleep on the way there so we hung out in the parking lot for a while. Afterwards, we went for supper at Boston Pizza, where we tried to help a little girl who'd gone to the bathroom only to return to a table minus her family. Poor thing. Turned out well, but tense for a while. That night, a painting that's been on the wall for 8 years at the top of our stairs crashed down, setting off the security alarm. In the ensuing panic, while hubby and I shot out of bed, still asleep, I caught an elbow to the eye and now have a shiner. Delightful!

"Born to be alive!"

Felix swam out to the 100 meter mark. Parented.

Yesterday, Irene limped past. She was reported to be a good 558 miles off shore, so we got a smattering of rain and a bunch of wind. Would have been pleasant if not for the pressing humidity.

No idea what this week brings. We're all winding down, energy is dwindling and patience is wearing thin all around. But I should plan at least one more weekday adventure. And it's a long weekend coming up - and our anniversary - so we should think about that, too.

Missed every little detail of our summer vacation so far? Well catch up, already! Weeks 1, 2, 3, 4. 5, 6 and 7.

Houdini

Through a haze, she heard the bell ring. Expecting a parcel, she figured they'd just leave it on the step and rolled back over. A second ticked by, then two. Sleep was now elusive. Easing out of the bed so as not to wake the sleeping three year old, she tiptoed to the window. No delivery truck in sight. The laughter of children floated up from the street, a warm breeze fluttered the curtains.

The clock showed that less than 45 minutes had passed. She heard a voice from downstairs - had the 5 year old opened the door? The door alarm hadn't beeped, the screen door hadn't shrieked. Why was he down there, anyway? He was to be colouring or reading in his room. It was quiet time, that was the rule. Walking quickly, but clumsily, brushing sleep from her eyes, she pulled open the unlocked baby gate at the top of the stairs and went down.

He had let someone in! And they'd gotten so far as the kitchen, with the dirty dishes everywhere. How had that happened. A woman was calling hello. Rubber boots and a pair of natty old mittens on a string were cast off in the middle of the floor, amidst dish towels and scraps of paper.

"My name is Michelle. I live on the next street. I found this little boy walking by my house."

She sat down with a hard thump onto the kitchen stool and hugged him tightly, eyes wide. There were several conversations happening at once but the main focus was there, in her arms. Words were exchanged, images painted, exclamations made. Complete disbelief.

Michelle let herself out of the back door, through the gate, into the driveway and on with her day.

Alternating between a crushing hug, tears and admonishments, the story came out. He was bored reading. He didn't know where she was. At yoga? Had he gone looking for her? Maybe. He just wanted to go for a walk around the block. (Again) In costume. The front door was locked and so was the back door, but he opened it. But don't worry, he hadn't crossed any streets. He stopped when the lady backed out of her driveway. He led her back to his house, the long way around. He wouldn't do it again, not until he was at least 8 or 9.

There was praise for being smart enough to find his way home, to be safe, to stay on the sidewalk. And wetly whispered fears that she might have lost him forever. Reminders of never, ever going out without a parent, not even to the backyard without telling a parent.

And once alone, she shuddered and sobbed, breath coming in tight bursts, because it really can be that quick, that easy, that fragile.

She will never nap again.

Sandwich butterfly

Elliot gets artsy

One down.

So I'm patting myself on the back and pouring a stiff drink for making it through the first week of summer vacation together. The week was jam packed full of activities and outings, an attempt at setting a rhythm. And still, far too much TV. But hey - I was hung over that day.

Took both boys to a birthday party today. One of Felix's daycare buddies. The rotten weather forced us all inside a small room at the beautiful playground. The kids ran and screamed and tustled over the meager toy offering. Most of the other parents had a waaaaay more relaxed way of parenting than me. Very big on letting the kids sort it out themselves - something I'd love to do if all our altercations didn't end up with someone biting or shoving or bleeding. Of course, when it's my 5 year old wailing on your 3 year old, you change your tune pretty quick. Elliot has been all about break downs and baby talk lately. Makes me want to stab scissors into my eardrums. But I'm gritting my teeth, mastering the art of deep breathing and trying to keep my cool. It was just lovely today when someone commented on how tricky it must be having twins. Apparently Felix's height coupled with Elliot's emotional stuntedness puts them on par with each other. Oh we're rocking that look.

Felix doesn't want to let go of his 2s. Every day brings a new battle, a sustained piercing shriek of rage whenever things don't go his way. And face it, when you're 2-going-on-3, most things don't go your way. And apparently not at 4-going-on-5, either.

Monday I had to take Elliot to a follow up session with the psychologist who did the testing last year and determined him to be in the 99th percentile for cognitive development. And a year behind, emotionally and socially. We were looking to get him re-assessed before he hits school in September. But really, we can see the parts that have changed. And the ones that remain big pink elephants. He was playing with some magnetic blocks in the last few minutes. And they weren't cooperating. So they deserved a fiery death. And much blaming of me for breaking them. The psychologist said, "So dealing with frustration is still a problem."

No shit, Sherlock. My kid all but dented your coffee table with his frustration. Tell me how to fix it.

She offered a few suggestions, like giving him more words to describe his frustration, coach him through it, let him know it's ok, offer snacks or hugs or distractions until he's calm enough to re-attempt. Feels like we're slapping a bandaid over an exit wound, but we'll keep trying.

Despite this outburst, we've decided not to test. We can see where he is. If he struggles at school, we'll look at another assessment then. But for now, we'll just keep on keeping on. Besides, these sessions are $160 per hour. Increasing to $180 in August. Yep. True story.

Monday afternoon was cloudy, so we spent it in the backyard with a pile of books. And a clump of baby spiders that just wouldn't die, no matter how much gunk I sprayed at them. Oh no, boys, it won't hurt them. Only makes them sleepy so I can toss them in the green bin their new home.

Tuesday brought a trip to the library. The boys are finally starting to behave there, which is a relief. They both sit down, pull a stack of books over and just read. I love it. The deal is we have to go upstairs first, to get my books. Then we can spend the rest of the time in the kids' section.

We also went to the doctor on Tuesday, as Felix has broken out into spots again. And again, the verdict is "just a virus". But I have my doubts. We couldn't get in to see our regular doctor, but she saw us in the waiting room and came over for a minute. When she saw the spots, a mere 6 week after the last outbreak, she suggested allergy testing. So we'll go back to her next week for the referral. Will likely take months to get in to the specialist, but at least I'll feel like we're doing something, that all these elimination diets will be validated. Eggs are the most recent culprit. *sigh*

Moo

Ahhhh Wednesday. We took in the waterfront. Got (non-dairy) ice cream. Watched a million dead jelly fish float by. (Eeeew!!) Had a picnic lunch on the living roof of the Farmer's Market. Went to the playground. And that night, I went drinking. Only a bottle of wine between me and a girlfriend, but hooooo boy. It did me in.

Spent Thursday at home, eating bread. Hooked up a Netflix free trial and let the boys rot their brown little eyes. Tried to be adventurous by pitching the tent in the backyard for nap time, but it was too new and exciting and the road work across the street was distracting. I dozed while they tried to flip the tent like a hamster wheel. Yes, I was in it. No, they weren't successful. That time.

Friday we went to visit my mother-in-law who hasn't seen the boys in a while. They raided her husband's workshop and dragged miscellaneous lumber all over the yard, making roads and ramps that were quickly abandoned due to the heat of the day. We were able to take some of the pieces home, so now there's a stack of wood (still) in the back of the car, awaiting a home in our backyard. Good times. We also did necessities, like groceries. We can eat again! I love a well stocked fridge.

Since we got the Netflix, I also found a secondhand Wii to hook it up to the TV. Until today, the boys had never experienced video games. Holy crap, what have we done? They are maniacs. Now there's one more screen to limit. Though, it was cute to watch them learn how to use the controller as a steering wheel (the actual wheel is fickle and doesn't work so well...)

Since we're now (supposedly) home all summer, potty training Felix has begun with a vengeance. The first few days, I bribed with mini-marshmallows. A week in, he still doesn't get it. Still no mind-body connection. But I'll keep pushing, keep bribing. If he can at least get to the point where he realizes that he has other bodily functions than eating or spitting and that his penis can be for something other than pulling on, I'll be happy. More or less.

The latest bribe is a cutesy toilet full of M&Ms. He's awfully excited when he gets to pick one out, so maybe it will inspire becoming one with the pee.

Here's to another good week. Please. Imma gonna pound back a jello shot, rock some yoga and go to bed. I need my strength.

There's no place like home.

In this moment, I am struggling.

My course for September is full, without me in it. So now I'm wondering if this is fate. If I'm meant to be doing something else. Or if all the pieces will fall into place and I'll get pulled from the waitlist.

The boys are playing happily together upstairs right now, but no one is napping, which of course means mama ain't napping. (How sad is it that spell check recognized "ain't"??) Why is it always the day I need a nap the most that they simply refuse? My temper is already short. This isn't helping. I know their napping days are numbered, Elliot rarely does anymore. But my goodness, he really needed it today.

In addition to being a dairy and soy free family (and a caffeine-free mama who should also be sugar free) we are now supposed to be gluten free. This is intimidating and frustrating and leaves me wondering what we'll be able to eat. And hoping that we get to witness all the positive health changes quickly to make it all feel worth while. Felix has nasty eczema patches on the tops of his feet that won't clear up. He had specialist appointments last week - one for his hemangioma (it's fine, still wait-and-seeing) and another for his ears (which aren't fine - still full of fluid, despite no more ear infections since coming off dairy in March. Follow up in October, plus another hearing test. To their surprise, he passed the last one. I'm suspicious it's because Elliot was in the room too and might have been supplying involuntary, non-verbal clues during the testing). During both appointments, he pointed to his feet and told the doctor to check them because they hurt. Poor boy. We got some prescription hydrocortizone cream, which is proving to be somewhat helpful on the red spots. But now gluten's got to go.

Creamed for 5 days and still red and crusty.

It's faded so much! And lookit those eyelashes. He's such a beauty!

I  find myself snapping at boys frequently, with unrealistic expectations for their behaviour. Felix is in a run away phase. I hated it with Elliot and handled it badly, but convinced myself it was due to the post-partum depression and the fact that I had to cart around - or abandon - a baby to sprint after the runner. But no, I'm learning I just handle it wrong. I yell and threaten and grab at arms and plunk his struggling, screaming body into the stroller as punishment. He came stupid close to being hit by a car over the weekend. To the point he was actually touching the car when it stopped. (Not the fault of the driver, not really.) Another time he chased some pigeons out into a busy grocery store parking lot. Often he willfully runs away, though many other times he's just not paying attention. I think part of this comes back to those blocked ears. He's not paying attention because he can't hear properly.

Already today, I've snapped at Elliot multiple times, "When I tell you to stop touching something STOP TOUCHING it! Now." Doesn't matter what it is, the phone, computer, car, neighbour's car, the cat (I also told him that if she scratched him, I wouldn't do anything. He chases her and picks her up and teases her. She's old and cranky as it is. She has and will scratch.) And he's taken to shouting these things back at me, too... "Mama, I asked you and then I told you and now I'm gonna make you get me some ice cream!" *sigh*

I've misplaced my Cupcake book. Might be for the best, but I would like to find it. I searched Elliot's room in case he'd pilfered it, being enamored of it as he was. Nope. I hope it didn't end out at the Curb.

I'm looking forward to Thursday when we have a home visit from the Calm Parenting specialist. I'm hoping she can give me some tips and suggestions on simplifying our home to make things calmer over the summer. Because yeah, only 4 more daycare days between now and next week. Then they're both home with me for 2 months. Yesterday I was looking forward to it. Today I'm not.

Then again, today 'I'm not' a lot of things: energetic, caring, rested, coping. I would like to start over, please. Do they make ruby red slippers for that?

Beachin'

Our city holds a yearly Curbside Giveaway, where you can drag all your unwanted crap treasures out to the curb for anyone to find and claim. We participated last year, cleaned out a bunch of crap treasures and yes, brought some new crap treasures into the house - Felix's big boy bed, for example, was being given away by one of his daycare teachers.

This year, the day was bright and sunny. We piled the curb high with crap treasure - old monitors, printers, piles and piles of books, toys the boys no longer wanted played with (and that I didn't think the daycare wanted, either - they received a large bag from us last week!), Christmas decorations, old picture frames, candles, a legacy toy box that just took up too much space...

Then we hopped in the car and went down to the Farmer's Market. (Where I stocked up on soap for the boys' latest obsession with lathering themselves in the tub, and Rawthentic chocolates... o.m.g. I need willpower. Too tasty.) Each time we bring the boys we swear we'll never do it again without short pieces of rope to tie them to us. And muzzles. Maybe straitjackets. They go everywhere, touching everything, and smashing into everyone. All at once and usually in different directions. We have talks with them in advance, reminding them of rules and personal space and putting their listening ears on. But it's always a madhouse. I grew up in Farmer's Markets... I don't remember mom tearing out her hair or threatening to thrash us. But those were different times. It wasn't as crowded in our little town. And we were a bit older. Or I have a selective memory. (Note to self: call mom.)

We made it out of the Market alive but not quite sane and herded the feral cats boys to a nearby park with a play structure and some shade for a picnic. When we could finally peel them off the slides, we went for a looooong drive so they would just nap already.

We drove fairly aimlessly... 30 minutes in one direction, then back and veering off and circling around. We went down roads we hadn't been on in years. Followed one until it ended at a golf course on the ocean. When I started muttering, Elliot piped up from the back seat, "All roads have to end somewhere, mama!". Sage little creature. We meandered around until we ended up at a beach. And then the chaos fun really began! We were unprepared, so made due with rolled up pants... until those got soaked. You know you've had a wild time when you have salt lines on your thighs!

He promises me he was saving Felix, not getting ready to toss him!

Felix was challenged by the tides. He would splash out to meet them and run shrieking and laughing in with them. Then the water would rush out, sucking sand and rocks out from under our feet, knocking us off balance... I had to run interference so Felix didn't get swept away. Every time.

The tides were coming in, quickly. My boys made a wall to buy themselves some time. It was a valiant effort. But, predictably, an epic fail. There might have also been some burying of a small child in the sand, necessitating a speedy save when the area was flooded.

Had a gourmet supper of hotdogs and fries on a boardwalk and then came home, wiped. And saw that most of our crap treasures had been re-homed! Hooray for cleaning out the corners of our dangerously full basement and closets. And by that I mean barely denting the heap. Honestly, we may be about 3 piles and a candlestick away from falling under the hoarder classification.

We sure soaked up the sun, and I'll sleep good tonight. (You hear that boys - stay in your own freaking rooms, ok!) And hopefully we can do it all again real soon.

Primary Relativity

Took Elliot for his primary orientation this morning. He alternated between being excitedly curious and being a clingy, refusing mess. We arrived a few minutes early, getting the lay of the land. This school reminds me of a rabbit warren or an ant farm There are staircases and hallways that go everywhere! Walking through the main door, you are on a landing with 2 staircases directly in front of you - one up, one down - and yet another flight of stairs going down to the right, into the gym.

Escher's Relativity - or Elliot's new school??

 We went down to the gym to look for Elliot's name on a wall for his group for the morning. He was in the blue section and I sucked in my breath, sure he was going to freak out and demand to be in the red group. But he kept his cool. Mostly. He started climbing me, pulling on my coat, standing on my coffee cup. Student volunteers located his name tag and gave him a bag of books and information supplied by the school board. Then we waited. He sat on my lap.

Then we went to the music room for his first mini-class of the morning. And the parents were told to say goodbye. We could leave the school if we provided them with a contact number, or we could go up to the library for coffee and snacks. I found a staircase and followed it up, knowing I would come out on the main level but not knowing where. I followed the main hall until something looked familiar, walked up a half flight of stairs to a level with a few classrooms, then up another half to the top floor.

I met some other parents, we talked about our kids and parenting and plans for the summer. Many of the children in this district have doctors and lawyers and government officials for parents. And cottages and summer homes scattered about the province. Yes, it's intimidating. But whatever. That's my own deal.

After 3 calorie-filled hours (And I only had 3 of the mini treats, which added up to 340 calories! Eep! But I'm kinda proud of myself for remaining on the other side of the room and not scarfing them down two at a time like I really wanted to.) I went down to collect Elliot from a basement classroom since it was too cool and misty outside for them to have their playground session. As soon as I walked in, the instructor piped up with an amazed, "He's smart!" I nodded and said, "Yep." So blasé. But they were evaluating the kids, informally, to help slot them in to the appropriate class in the fall. There's a full primary class (with the awesome teacher we already know) and a primary/one split with a new, male teacher. We're cautiously hoping for the split.

Apparently he had a wonderful time and he did tell me about some of the sessions (Music, gym, an eye exam, class time and free play.) But as we packed up and headed outside, he started crying, saying he didn't want to go back to school - neither the big school we'd just left, nor the preschool we were headed to so he could have lunch and a rest since I needed to blog and mess around on the internetz work. I promised to pick him up early. And I will. Maybe. After some hugging and clinging and crow-barring off the front porch of the preschool, and the reading of a book, and more hugging and some hand holding whilst hand washing, he settled for lunch with his friends and I was free.

I really should do some work. Deadlines and all that. Clients counting on me. I just want a nap. Silly to have gone to bed so late. And then the kids got up so freaking early. Felix was singing Isty Bitsy Spider just before 6am. Oh, and have you discovered Amber Dusick yet? No? GO NOW!!!!

See - the internetz, they entice me and go on forever in all directions. Not safe for Rainy!

Do Not Enter Elliot's Room

Thankfully written in dry-erase marker.

Premonitions

So I'm setting up for it to be a fat and sweet summer.

The boys are gaga over these two books. I've had to drag Elliot out of the cupboard twice now - all he wants to do is pull down all of the the sprinkles and decorating supplies and get them set up in individual cups that would rival a Martha Stewart spread. Felix just wants ducks. I'm holding out as long as I can, but I know my days are numbered - I did buy the books, afterall. And then the sweet, sweet cuteness will be all mine. Maybe I should start doing an extra workout on the treadmill everyday now, so I can (over)indulge later.

In addition to fat and sweet, I sense our summer is going to be dirty.

Spent the morning in the backyard with Elliot today. We scrubbed out the wading pool, filled it and dragged the slide over to make bigger splashes. In the giant bare patch the pool made last year (hot plastic in the same spot for a few days = no grass and lots of dirt. The upside is no weeds there, either!) It's the perfect spot for mudpies. And mudbaths. We may charge admission.

I also spy lots of adventure over the summer.

Elliot has got it in his head that we're going to go berry picking. (Ok, I may or may not have put that thought there. But we'll need to corral Felix. I remember many a summer spent at the strawberry u-pick after my mother had convinced the attendant that we were good kids and good pickers. Felix is not. I may not even going to consider it this year!) Elliot is desperate to go pick our own blueberries, strawberries, raspberries and blackberries. Luckily, we have several prolific raspberry bushes in our very own backyard, but there will be many day trips planned this summer, since we finally have a car! Trips to the farm. The beach. Camping. (Yes, we're actually going to brave the wilderness with our feral children and a tent. We're going to outsmart them, though, and maybe stay in a cabin somewhere for our first excursion.)

The countdown is on. The boys have 13 days of daycare left between now and the end of the month. I'm going to use the time to catch up on my reading and bookkeeping and appointments and then it begins. I'm kinda giddy thinking about it now, not simply terrified. It's been a while since I had them both home with me for any length of time. It didn't end well last time. But I've had an upswing in my moods lately. Might be the SUN that's finally here after more than a month of rain, could be that the PPD is finally, truly gone. Whatever it is, i'mma embrace it!

Hairy Wee Wee

Ahhh that Elliot, he's such a clown. Picked him up a bit early from daycare on Friday. We went to the grocery store which is next to Felix's daycare to buy some naan bread. On the walk across the parking lot to go get Felix, Elliot started singsong chanting, "Hairy Wee WEE!" Over and over and over. I asked him what he meant and he said the song was about a cat named Harry who was very hairy and who meowed a strange way, saying wee wee instead of miaow miaow.

Suuuuuuuuuuure.

Great. Just great. And he kept that up until we got all the way to Felix's room.

Chalk-nose, dirty ditty singing boy

A good day

Until last November, there was a gas station across the street from us. Not having a car, we didn't really care about the proximity. But after they closed, we realized what a loss it was - no more dashing out at 7:30 when an empty milk carton was discovered after the cereal was in the bowl. Quick access to ice cream and popsicles on sunny days. Many a trip over for late night munchies. It is missed.

The boys excitedly watched the demolition, which took place over a couple of days. Hubby and I would cringe when the clangs and noises would continue on well past bedtime. And then we looked at the ugly, vacant lot and wondered how we'd ever get by without it. We'd gotten to be friendly with the owner. I made him a pan of fudge on their last weekend in business.

Now that the weather is warming up, we're finding some perks to having that eyesore across the street. It's full of graffiti and broken glass and bags of dog poop shoved into the old windshield washing station, but it's a mostly bare open patch of pavement, enclosed on almost every side by huge concrete buffers and fencing.

It's a wonderful place for the boys to practice riding their bikes. We'd gotten Elliot his helmet last summer and he could just touch the peddles of the low rider bike. This summer, he's gonna take the place by storm on hubby's old trike from way back in the day.

Elliot named this bike Starry, as it has stars on it.

We picked up a helmet for Felix this week so he could join in the fun. He can't work the peddles yet, but will excitedly propel himself along with his feet, proclaiming "I'm doing it BY MYSELF!!" And hubby helped him along by pushing it fast, too. (Wore himself out, he did. We're apparently sharing that old fat man. He's a wheezing, gasping machine.)

And this bike is now named Richart. WTF?

And it's close enough I can walk over with my mug of tea in hand. Ahhhhhhhh, nice. Today was a good day.

Working girl

It's been a week of changes.

On Wednesday, I started back in the tax office. It's a brand new location. The building has wonky heat. That is to say, almost none. It's hard to type and think about the financial situation of others when your hands are numb. That first day, there was no toilet paper for the bathroom. Or soap. We've since got both, but still no soap dispenser. We didn't have basic office supplies like staplers. Or paperclips. There's no kettle, but there is a microwave. My second day there, I brought a mug from home and nuked the water for my tea - classy. But, we're seeing clients and making them happy and in this business, that's what really matters.

On Thursday, we took Elliot to register him for 'big school' in September. Miraculously, he was a little angel while we sat in the principal's office (a remarkably young woman who looked a lot like a dark haired Kim Raver) and he happily drew pictures while we filled out forms. He even left one specifically for her - a really neat stegosaurus car. As we left the school, the whining and protesting and baby talk that had been plaguing us all day returned in full force. Nap skipping sucks. We'll go back for a half-day orientation in June. Eep!

This coming week and for most of the next 3 months, I'll be in the office 5 days, including today. Jay will be home with the boys for about half of it. I'm still, for the moment, doing the meal planning and will be doing suppers when I can (this week, at least, I'm mostly on short days) and hubby will have to sort out the rest. Felix will still have daycare for the rest of February, but Elliot's preschool is closed for the next 2 weeks for the Winter Games. Luckily, Jay's hiatus from work came at the exact same time (but lasts longer) so we don't have to scramble for childcare. Phew!

Monday is Valentine's Day. Since I'm off dairy and caffeine and am counting stupid calories, I'm not looking forward to the big day. And the lead up to it has been torture. But I am happy about the weight I've lost so far - 12 pounds! Though I know if I have even one bite of chocolate, I'll morph into a rabid beast and eat everything for miles around. It also doesn't help that I'm reading Elliot a chapter from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory every night before bed. Poor kid, he's already got my sweet tooth. Oh, we'll make a great team!

Naps Happen

A while ago I stumbled upon a great blog called Naps Happen. It's a hilarious collection of photos of the blogger's children in a full on nap attack, no matter where they were or what they were up to.

It's gotten me thinking about the boys' naps. They've generally been pretty good about napping, but that was one of the areas we were kinda anal about when they were smaller - we were slaves to the nap routine and made sure we were home - or somewhere else accommodating - at nap or bed time. But I was still able to find some adorable pictures of the boys. Aren't sleeping kids just the most precious things? So peaceful. So calm. Makes me wish it were legal to drug them into this state.

Merry Christmas 2006. And Elliot snoozes.

This lovey was forever named Nap Giraffe.

He's actually touching the cat - a rare occurrence, since she's such a beast.

This one breaks my heart a bit. We were attempting the CIO training method and he finally wore out, clutching the bars of his cell, waiting for me to come back.

This was a rough day.

An impression of Felix's ear after a nap in my arms - pretty much where he spent the first 7 months of his life.

There are numerous pictures like this. Note that even in sleep, he maintains the dino death grip.

Elliot went through a phase where he'd throw all his bedding on the floor and sleep there.

Felix wasn't really asleep. But he was pretending to be!

Double stroller nap - score!

Felix is such a ... boy.

Elliot got tired of waiting for me to get off the computer and come help him build (yet again) his new train track. And now he's a guest napper over at Naps Happen!

I wanna get in on the nap action, too! Of course, I usually have a cat on me. As also seen here. And here.

Sweet dreams, everyone! And stay warm - seems like there are major blizzards hitting all over the place today and forecast for the rest of the week. I wonder where you'll end up napping it out?