Took both boys to a birthday party today. One of Felix's daycare buddies. The rotten weather forced us all inside a small room at the beautiful playground. The kids ran and screamed and tustled over the meager toy offering. Most of the other parents had a waaaaay more relaxed way of parenting than me. Very big on letting the kids sort it out themselves - something I'd love to do if all our altercations didn't end up with someone biting or shoving or bleeding. Of course, when it's my 5 year old wailing on your 3 year old, you change your tune pretty quick. Elliot has been all about break downs and baby talk lately. Makes me want to stab scissors into my eardrums. But I'm gritting my teeth, mastering the art of deep breathing and trying to keep my cool. It was just lovely today when someone commented on how tricky it must be having twins. Apparently Felix's height coupled with Elliot's emotional stuntedness puts them on par with each other. Oh we're rocking that look.
Felix doesn't want to let go of his 2s. Every day brings a new battle, a sustained piercing shriek of rage whenever things don't go his way. And face it, when you're 2-going-on-3, most things don't go your way. And apparently not at 4-going-on-5, either.
Monday I had to take Elliot to a follow up session with the psychologist who did the testing last year and determined him to be in the 99th percentile for cognitive development. And a year behind, emotionally and socially. We were looking to get him re-assessed before he hits school in September. But really, we can see the parts that have changed. And the ones that remain big pink elephants. He was playing with some magnetic blocks in the last few minutes. And they weren't cooperating. So they deserved a fiery death. And much blaming of me for breaking them. The psychologist said, "So dealing with frustration is still a problem."
No shit, Sherlock. My kid all but dented your coffee table with his frustration. Tell me how to fix it.
She offered a few suggestions, like giving him more words to describe his frustration, coach him through it, let him know it's ok, offer snacks or hugs or distractions until he's calm enough to re-attempt. Feels like we're slapping a bandaid over an exit wound, but we'll keep trying.
Despite this outburst, we've decided not to test. We can see where he is. If he struggles at school, we'll look at another assessment then. But for now, we'll just keep on keeping on. Besides, these sessions are $160 per hour. Increasing to $180 in August. Yep. True story.
Monday afternoon was cloudy, so we spent it in the backyard with a pile of books. And a clump of baby spiders that just wouldn't die, no matter how much gunk I sprayed at them. Oh no, boys, it won't hurt them. Only makes them sleepy so I can toss them in
Tuesday brought a trip to the library. The boys are finally starting to behave there, which is a relief. They both sit down, pull a stack of books over and just read. I love it. The deal is we have to go upstairs first, to get my books. Then we can spend the rest of the time in the kids' section.
We also went to the doctor on Tuesday, as Felix has broken out into spots again. And again, the verdict is "just a virus". But I have my doubts. We couldn't get in to see our regular doctor, but she saw us in the waiting room and came over for a minute. When she saw the spots, a mere 6 week after the last outbreak, she suggested allergy testing. So we'll go back to her next week for the referral. Will likely take months to get in to the specialist, but at least I'll feel like we're doing something, that all these elimination diets will be validated. Eggs are the most recent culprit. *sigh*
Ahhhh Wednesday. We took in the waterfront. Got (non-dairy) ice cream. Watched a million dead jelly fish float by. (Eeeew!!) Had a picnic lunch on the living roof of the Farmer's Market. Went to the playground. And that night, I went drinking. Only a bottle of wine between me and a girlfriend, but hooooo boy. It did me in.
Spent Thursday at home, eating bread. Hooked up a Netflix free trial and let the boys rot their brown little eyes. Tried to be adventurous by pitching the tent in the backyard for nap time, but it was too new and exciting and the road work across the street was distracting. I dozed while they tried to flip the tent like a hamster wheel. Yes, I was in it. No, they weren't successful. That time.
Since we got the Netflix, I also found a secondhand Wii to hook it up to the TV. Until today, the boys had never experienced video games. Holy crap, what have we done? They are maniacs. Now there's one more screen to limit. Though, it was cute to watch them learn how to use the controller as a steering wheel (the actual wheel is fickle and doesn't work so well...)
Since we're now (supposedly) home all summer, potty training Felix has begun with a vengeance. The first few days, I bribed with mini-marshmallows. A week in, he still doesn't get it. Still no mind-body connection. But I'll keep pushing, keep bribing. If he can at least get to the point where he realizes that he has other bodily functions than eating or spitting and that his penis can be for something other than pulling on, I'll be happy. More or less.
The latest bribe is a cutesy toilet full of M&Ms. He's awfully excited when he gets to pick one out, so maybe it will inspire becoming one with the pee.
Here's to another good week. Please. Imma gonna pound back a jello shot, rock some yoga and go to bed. I need my strength.