Saturday, December 24, 2011

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Highway antics

Things I learned (and may want to forget!) on my solo road trip with the boys...

Peeing on the side of the highway will never get old.

"I have to poop!" is NOT what you want to hear while driving after dark, when it's snowing.
And "I'm sorry, our washroom is out of order" is an even worse thing to hear.
I convinced the gas station attendant to let us use the washroom anyway - I brought the potty chair in and bagged out waste. Eeew. But so much warmer/cleaner than the side of the road.

Night one, the boys will only get 8 and 9 hours of sleep apiece. And I will have to curb my homicidal tendencies.

Co-sleeping with 3 and 5 year olds is far different from when they were babies. And not at all enjoyable when one is kicking you in the ribs and the other has a death grip on your neck. This will result in 4 hours of sleep for mama. Which  does nothing to curb those homicidal tendencies.

Shy boys will hide in the basement during the holiday party, venturing upstairs long enough to steal food from the buffet and bump into as many of the 60-odd people milling around as possible. They will want me with them at all times.

Barenaked Ladies' snappy hit "One Week" will be swiftly passed over in favour of Offspring's pounding anthem The Kids Aren't Alright. Though it will be remarked that, "He's not singing the words very well."

"I will not nap, not EVER!", especially when accompanied by crossed arms, a pouty snarl and a foot snap means nothing after 45 minutes in the car. All bow down to the car, Queen of Nappage.

There's nothing like sleeping in your own bed.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Christmas Concert!

My Arctic Fox!    ^ ^  Video
Too much anxiety.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Girls have lasagnas

A collection of funny/strange/weird things I've heard or said over the last little while. Ok, mostly heard. And posted on Facebook.

Felix, playing an animal guessing game: "Mama, are you a whore-a-vore?"
Me: That's herbivore. And yes.

Elliot: MOVE your issues OFF the road!!!!!
(To Felix, whose dinky car was moving too slowly on the new race tracks.)

Elliot: I'm going to do a dance I learned back in the good old days when people didn't watch TV.

Me: Stop wiggling. Go pee!
Felix: I can't. I'm scared.
Me: Of what? Go pee!
Felix: I'm scared of pigs.
Me: ????
*He has started saying this at daycare too. I have no explanation for them.

Me: Feel how soft these sheets are - it's like sleeping with bunnies!
Felix: But they don't have ears. Or mouths. Or feet.

Felix: Look at my WOODY!!!!!
Me: Yes, those are nice Toy Story underwear.

Me: Ok, the muffins come out in 30 minutes.
Elliot, calmly: Jesus, how long is that?
Me: What did you call me? I'm mama.

Me: Do I have to toss you guys outside? Settle down!
Felix: Toss me outside? Don't toss me outside, I might get hurt!

I even dream vividly about people saying crazy shit:

Felix: Girls have lasagnas and boys have a penis!

Sawyer, from Lost: Who are you supposed to be, Whora The Explorer?

And tonight, about a week after the lasagna dream, Felix spits out this gem while getting ready for bed:
"Boys have a penis and girls have nectarines!"
I nearly choked laughing.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


More from the first snow fall.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

My dear internets...

It's been far to long since I sat down and wrote you properly. October really hit me hard. Left me battle-scarred, a bit limpy, but intact. Considering that we're now in December, it's about time I made it through.

I've always battled mood swings, dark times when the sun goes away. But it's never truly interfered with my life - I could always make myself get up, get dressed, put on a happy face and keep my shit together. Until this year. There were a record number of down days, culminating in several where I simply couldn't push myself to pretend anymore. There were lots of tears and much anger.

I drank a lot. Ate way too much. Gained 10 pounds. Saw my therapist. Saw my doctor. Saw my naturopathic doctor. Got a haircut. By-passed the anti-depressants for a regime of vitamins and supplements. And you know what? I'm on day 15 of a mostly good mood. Energy is wavering now, but that first week? I was on fire! I won't entertain the idea that this is just a new face for mania. I. Will. Win. This. Round.

Today we took the boys to a small pond with nature trails in the middle of a rocky forest. We ran. Sailed stick boats down a brook. Laughed. And it was nice. It's been a long time coming.

Thank you for sailing with me.

Lots of love,


Saturday, December 3, 2011

The last waltz

I kept a diary as a girl, like many. I suppose this blog is my grown up version, also like many. I came across one of my old diaries while cleaning the other day (labeled "Bedtime Stories", I guess to dissuade snoopers??) and thought I'd share a few pieces with you, Cringe-style! As I flipped through it, I was saddened by the angst I was expressing, the cursing, the hating, the self-depreciating and self-harming, the need to be loved, to have a boyfriend, to fit in. But I'm glad I had an outlet, the presence of mind to write it all out. Of course, reading it now that nearly 20 years have passed, I am cringing at my words and want to grab hold of that 14 year old and give her a big hug and protect her from the world, and herself. She obviously needed it. I remember I destroyed a couple of my early diaries, from when I was even younger. Those are the ones I wish I had... this teen drama is still all too fresh in my mind. I'm implementing FlashBack Fridays. Come cringe with me, typos and all!

Sunday, December 4, 1994

I think I'm having withdrawal symptoms. I haven't smoked for a week, but and all week since, i've had a really bad temper & I've gained weight... I'm always starving. Although this all could be P.M.S.

I went to the "Last Dance" Fri. night. It was awesome! MM went... towards the end of it, GW asked him to dance with me. He said no, and ended up leaving the dance about 10 min. before the last waltz. I danced the last slow song with a really nice guy named TS. He's really hilarious! - he's friends with MF - 

All night, a group of us were fast dancing with him & his friend M. During a slow song when i was sitting on the floor is front of the bleachers, (trying to work up the nerve to ask MM to dance - his was sitting on the bleachers), TS and MF grabbed me & dragged me out on the floor - I was kicking & screaming - they both started fast-slow dancing together with me in the middle. It was really fun, but they had to stop 'cause a chaperone was looking at us.

Then during the last song, C (R's cousin) and his really big friend K kept following us. C asked if anyone wanted to dance - there was a chorus of "no"'s. Then TS came up & started talking to us. My back was to him, & he told C he was here to bug me. Then he picked me up & carried me out on the dance floor. We tangoed and he dipped me to the floor, he threw me around and everything! His friend M and his girlfriend were next to us & TS yells out "Tag Team Dancing!" him & M slapped hands & switched partners! I ended up dancing with M - then they switched back & somehow ended up dancing with eachother! Me & M's girlfriend AC just stood there shaking our heads! It was really fun! When we were "dancing" Ts told me to "just wait 'til the prom!!" I told him I was moving. He was mildly fascinated. 

Anyway, gotta go,

Love, Rainy

Ok, so this TS guy, he was always a hoot. Probably still is. I'll tell you this now, because the diary runs out before this, but when we moved home from out west, TS saw me walking down the street and (he claims) nearly drove off the road because "Holy shit, she's back!".  And he pursued me. And we dated for several months. But he was still hung up on his ex. And I wouldn't go all the way with him - went waaay far enough as it was; skipping school to hang out practically nekkid in his bed all afternoon - and so he broke up with me. And then called me a month later to apologize and tell me he'd made a mistake in not respecting me. But by then it was too late, I'd wised up. It was my first taste of empowerment. He taught me a lot, in retrospect. Thanks, TS!
Photo by Elliot
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...