A collection of funny/strange/weird things I've heard or said over the last little while. Ok, mostly heard. And posted on Facebook.
Felix, playing an animal guessing game: "Mama, are you a whore-a-vore?"
Me: That's herbivore. And yes.
Elliot: MOVE your issues OFF the road!!!!!
(To Felix, whose dinky car was moving too slowly on the new race tracks.)
Elliot: I'm going to do a dance I learned back in the good old days when people didn't watch TV.
Me: Stop wiggling. Go pee!
Felix: I can't. I'm scared.
Me: Of what? Go pee!
Felix: I'm scared of pigs.
*He has started saying this at daycare too. I have no explanation for them.
Me: Feel how soft these sheets are - it's like sleeping with bunnies!
Felix: But they don't have ears. Or mouths. Or feet.
Felix: Look at my WOODY!!!!!
Me: Yes, those are nice Toy Story underwear.
Me: Ok, the muffins come out in 30 minutes.
Elliot, calmly: Jesus, how long is that?
Me: What did you call me? I'm mama.
Me: Do I have to toss you guys outside? Settle down!
Felix: Toss me outside? Don't toss me outside, I might get hurt!
I even dream vividly about people saying crazy shit:
Felix: Girls have lasagnas and boys have a penis!
Sawyer, from Lost: Who are you supposed to be, Whora The Explorer?
And tonight, about a week after the lasagna dream, Felix spits out this gem while getting ready for bed:
"Boys have a penis and girls have nectarines!"
I nearly choked laughing.