In the beginning, I was scared. Overwhelmed. Certain it would end in bloodshed and tears. (Well, it did, but not on purpose. More on that in a minute.) Half way through, I was pleasantly optimistic. This wasn't so bad! We were making it! I was rocking this full-time, stay at home parenting thing, a gig unseen since Felix was an infant. (And that only lasted 6 weeks, until out of desperation Elliot got carted off to daycare and I got some much needed medication.) Over the last couple of weeks, I've been mourning the end. September brings a first school year, change, growth. It frightens me. And enthralls. I can't wait but I never want it to get here.
Highlights of our rather low key (and TV filled) week:
Monday, the police showed up at the door, canvasing the street due to an attempted break in around the corner. The boys escaped like cats, out of the house the second the door was open and down the street. The officer called them back and thankfully they listened.
Tuesday - I started a soup diet - a detox thing full of cabbage and vegetables, very filling but only 63 calories a bowl. Other than that, I have no idea. I've checked my email, iPhoto, Facebook... did you see me on Tuesday? Where was I? Were the kids with me? What were we doing?? Does anyone know?
Wednesday. The boys were running downhill at the playground. They had already done it once or twice when it happened. Tangled feet or a subtle shove or plain clumsiness... Felix was in front. He fell hard and fast with a sickening thud on the wooden playground border. Elliot landed second, half on Felix's legs, his head closer to my feet. If I'd been sitting 2 butt-spaces to the left, they would have landed in my lap and avoided the nastiness to follow.
From the angle and sound of the impact, I was braced for the worst. Scooping Felix into my arms, I clamped my hand down on his cheekbone where I thought he'd landed. He howled. Begged for a bandaid. I peeked under my hand and nearly fainted, sure that I was looking at bone. There was remarkably little blood for a head wound. But there was a gaping hole. I was terrified there would be loss of vision, broken bones or brain damage. He cried over and over that he couldn't hear me.
Our playdate arrived just then and my friend's navy husband took a look and very calmly agreed that yes, it was bad. I should leave Elliot with them at the playground and go straight to the hospital. I started shaking. Called hubby, told him to cab over to collect Elliot; my friend's hubby called a cab for me, poured some water to cleanse the cut, washed the blood off my hands.
Arrived at the ER, and after a quick & dirty neurological assessment and an application of a topical anesthetic, we were triaged into "non urgent" and settled into a 3 hour wait. Hubby showed up with food. They called our name and we went into the back room and waited another hour for the doctor. And then another 45 minutes for new freezing to take effect.
Then they wrapped my baby in a sheet, pinning his arms to his body. A nurse held him down while the doctor and med student discussed the best way to proceed. I patted his head, held down his legs, repeatedly told him I loved him, I was right there, couldn't he feel my fingers? An aide stood at eye level, showing him a little movie on an iPad. It didn't help. He screamed and thrashed and pleaded. Begged them to stop. Demanded to be freed, to see his mama. I could smell my own sweaty fear as it filled the room. The med student did 3 shaky, slow stitches. Between the second and third suture, I hopped around the table, nearly pushing the nurse aside in my need to get where he could see me, but that released his legs too much, the student struggled to get the needle in. Afterwards, she brought him a popsicle and apologized, eyes glistening.
Thursday was a movie day. The sitter came so I could go to a few appointments and I rushed home. Took Felix to my chiropractor. We were both very tight, holding onto the fear and panic with our bones and tissues, but adjusted well.
|Photo by Felix, silliness as I tried to distract him from the pain in his face.|
Friday we used coupons to go to a new-to-us indoor play structure and cafe. The boys had a blast. Felix sweated his bandaid right off! We got groceries and then went to a provincial park, full of walking trails. We had sun on our faces and a salty breeze in our hair.
Saturday we went to the zoo.
Today we went out to breakfast. Tomorrow... who knows.
And Tuesday, well, Tuesday real life catches up to us and the boys and I will be growing up and putting on our game faces for school. Wish us luck!
Missed every little detail of our summer vacation so far? Well catch up, already! Weeks 1, 2, 3, 4. 5, 6 7 and 8...