Friday, September 2, 2011

Breaking up is hard to do... or is it?

I kept a diary as a girl, like many. I suppose this blog is my grown up version, also like many. I came across one of my old diaries while cleaning the other day (labeled "Bedtime Stories", I guess to dissuade snoopers??) and thought I'd share a few pieces with you, Cringe-style! As I flipped through it, I was saddened by the angst I was expressing, the cursing, the hating, the self-depreciating and self-harming, the need to be loved, to have a boyfriend, to fit in. But I'm glad I had an outlet, the presence of mind to write it all out. Of course, reading it now that nearly 20 years have passed, I am cringing at my words and want to grab hold of that 14 year old and give her a big hug and protect her from the world, and herself. She obviously needed it. I remember I destroyed a couple of my early diaries, from when I was even younger. Those are the ones I wish I had... this teen drama is still all too fresh in my mind. I'm implementing FlashBack Fridays. Come cringe with me, typos and all!

Tuesday, August 30, 1994
Yep. Me & M broke up on Monday, August 22 at 9:35pm. He called me, and I told him I thought we should break up. He took it really good. Actually, I don't know what I expected him to do, so I don't know what is good.  Anyway, he said he'd been thinking about it lately. He asked if he could still call, I said yeah, of course. He hasn't called, and I really don't expect him to.

School starts in 1 week exactly. This'll be fun!

~Rainy

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