I kept a diary as a girl, like many. I suppose this blog is my grown up version, also like many. I came across one of my old diaries while cleaning the other day (labeled "Bedtime Stories", I guess to dissuade snoopers??) and thought I'd share a few pieces with you, Cringe-style! As I flipped through it, I was saddened by the angst I was expressing, the cursing, the hating, the self-depreciating and self-harming, the need to be loved, to have a boyfriend, to fit in. But I'm glad I had an outlet, the presence of mind to write it all out. Of course, reading it now that nearly 20 years have passed, I am cringing at my words and want to grab hold of that 14 year old and give her a big hug and protect her from the world, and herself. She obviously needed it. I remember I destroyed a couple of my early diaries, from when I was even younger. Those are the ones I wish I had... this teen drama is still all too fresh in my mind. I'm implementing FlashBack Fridays. Come cringe with me, typos and all!
Friday, September 30, 1994
DD,
There is a guy in my math class who I like and I'm pretty sure he likes me. He goes on my bus and his name is KA. His phone # is XXX-XXXX. He's really cute & nice. He's got longish dark red wavey hair. R says he likes me 'cause he is always asking to borrow my pencil in class. He's in grade 11. Today at noon, me & R were in to Pharmasave to pick up Jennie's prescription. He was there, playing with a travel/health answer machine. I went up to him and asked if he was having fun. He jumped and said yeah. We talked for a few minutes & then me & R left. On the bus,
BV sat with me & started tickling my knees. KA asked if BV was my boyfriend, BV said no, he just liked to bug me.
R and that
D guy met up today at an assembly. They plan on meeting on Monday at school. Things look promising for them. I hope they go out. R hasn't had a boyfriend before... ironically, the last guy she liked was named D, too!
Anyway, see ya!
~Rainy
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