Teaser pic

I just have to share... Felix was selected to do a bit of modeling for a local boy's accessory shop. I just received this sneak peek tonight!

You know, until I had kids, I never really understood that expression, "Eat them up with a spoon!" Forget the spoon, I just want to chew him up, he's so stinkin' cute!

Conversations with Felix

6:30am

Felix, to the cat: Melon, get off my mama.
Me: She was my first baby, sweetie.
Felix: And then you got Bailey?
Me: Yes.
Felix: And then you got Elliot? And me?
Me: Well, I made you guys.
Felix: You made me? Like a puzzle?
Me: No, I grew you, in a special place in my tummy.
Felix: You GREW me?
Me: Yes. Daddy planted a seed and I grew you. My belly got big and fat!
Felix: Awwwwww, I want to be a baby again. I want to be small and one.
Me: How come? You're my big boy and I love you!
Felix: I love you too, mama.

A few second later:
Felix: What's your name, mama?
Me: Mama
Felix. Noooo. What's your real name?
Me: Aimee.
Felix: Aimee. Ok. And what's daddy's name?
Me: Jay.
Felix: Aimee and Jay. Aimee and Jay. Aimee and Jay.

Oh boy! Let's hope he forgets this one, soon. I have a vivid memory of finding out my dad's name when I was around Felix's age. Mom had asked me to go down to the barn to get him for supper, so  I marched down there bellowing, "GILBERT!!!!" every few feet until he finally screamed back, "WHAT?????!"

Good times.

Hiding in the coatroom at the museum.

That tricky monkey

Felix has a pet monkey. An imaginary monkey. It's mischievous. It lives in the trees and steals penises with which to decorate the branches. This monkey will pull your head off and poke out your eyes. But he's a good guy, a friend.

Felix actively looks for him on the walk to school. And talks to him. After bath or when changing his pants after a pee accident, he'll frantically try to dress himself before the monkey gets there. It started charming but has veered towards slightly alarming.  But all the questioning seems to show he's made it all up in his twisted little brain.

So we may have some sociopathic issues with this one as an adult.

Just another thing to look forward to in 2012! Happy New Year, peeps!

Snippets

Let's see. Last week, Elliot started school and Felix started preschool. Oh, and I started school, as well.

So things have been busy 'round these parts.

~~
I have class 3 days a week. It's only 8 hours, but it's a 1 hour commute each way, if I take public transit. About 20 minutes if I drive and then another 10 or so to find parking. I haven't had enough class time to figure out if I'll do well, but I think I'm going to like it, which is something, at least. We spent the first class throwing stuffed animals at each other, learning everyone's names.

1st day. Thanks, hubby.

~~
Felix's stitch-saga continues. Last week, we went to have them removed. Yeah right. First off, we couldn't see his usual doctor. This new doctor was all, "It's too early to take them out." And, "If you don't let me take them out they're going to grow out of the side of your face." I held him down, the doc tried to tweeze and snip, Felix thrashed and screamed, terrified. Elliot climbed the walls and put things in his mouth. I was totally and completely frazzled. In the end, we got one stitch out. One - of three. He'd been promised a lollipop, because I knew they had them in the office. But then the doc said he didn't have any and I should ask at the front desk.

Asshat.

We did track down some lollies and went home, in the rain. And hopped right in the car to go to my mom's birthday dinner. The boys convinced her new husband to light the candles on the cake and sing happy birthday before the meal. And then we did it again, when the boys were watching TV, once the guests had arrived and after our meal. With 2 pieces missing from the cake. Good times.

Two days later, we went back to see yet another doctor. I was prepared. EMLA cream applied, to numb the area. A new Lightening McQueen bribe dinky car. A full jar of lollipops sitting on the desk next to him. A different way of holding him and a much quicker - and warmer - doctor wielding the tools.

We got stitch number 2 out. She said she couldn't see the third, that it must have fallen out. I pointed out a faint blue mark sticking out from the scab. She probed it, declared it residual dye and sent us away.

Yeah. The scab has fallen off, revealing very plainly, 2 pieces of blue thread poking out of his little face. I really don't want to go through that all again, but seriously, how long can he go around with surgical thread sticking out of his cheek?

*sigh* Back we'll go. But not this week. This week is full.

Cool dude.

~~
I'm hosting an open house here on Wednesday evening. I sell spices. The new catalogue is out. Good times. Of course this means I need to clean the place from top to bottom.  No idea how many guests will arrive. Oh the clutter and grime I need to banish. Daunting.

~~
Oh, and today we receive this note from Elliot's teacher:

Elliot is settling into classroom routines nicely.  He is following directions, listening to stories, enjoying centres and is doing well in terms of independent work. As I'm sure you know, he loves to read and reads well. He has enjoyed independent reading times and today's Book Buddies. Centres has gone well with him and today, he had a great time creating a drawing and even made one for his friend and put it in her mailbox. I know he is a very sweet boy.

Unfortunately, Elliot is having some difficulties during unstructured times outside. Recess has been challenging for him and he has been hitting other children.  He is not always honest about this behaviour when he is asked---even when a teacher witnessed him hitting other children with no provocation. Today, he grabbed and held onto a child's nose in the meeting area just as the children came in to sit down. Other than that, he has done very well in the classroom. Elliot is full of hugs for me and I've seen him hug other children in class. I don't see him frustrated and am wondering if you've been experiencing/witnessing this aggression as well?

Just perfect. This is on the heels of him being banned from gymnastics - by us, not the facility. But it was a close call. I looked down from the parental observation area to see him running willy-nilly, being chased by instructors and then he started hitting and kicking, running away, climbing tall-and-not-age-appropriate equipment. I had to chase him through the whole structure, arms full of our bags, squishing into the padded mats while he laughed at me and danced out of reach. He refused to participate in class and wanted to make up his own rules. Later he said he didn't like the crowd of kids. And then changed his story and said he didn't mind them, it was the new teachers he didn't like. 


Gymnastics isn't new for him. But half way through the last session, he started doing stuff like this, refusing to do the class, etc. We debated putting him back in - when he would participate, he'd love it. But it would often take 30 minutes of cajoling to get him out there, or he'd run right out, happy as can be and then start crying and balking and asking to leave half way through. Still, we tried it again. Shouldn't have bothered. 

He says there are older boys at school, in his class, who take his hat and toss it around, laughing at him. he says there's a bully who makes fun of him. He says that sometimes the play chase, just for fun. Sometimes it's not fun. Today he was throwing rocks. He scratched a teacher in the after-school program and punched another one. After he calmed down, he hugged the teachers. And then was fine, his happy, sweet alter ego. 

I hope his teacher has some insights. He told us tonight that it's not him doing these mean things, that it's 2 other boys who wear the same clothes as him, whose parents spy on him to see what he's wearing so they can match their boys. Imaginative, huh.  I think he's been reading too many Calvin & Hobbes comics. 


~~
The boys had their first sleep over this past weekend. Went to my mom's. It was awesome. Hubby and I drank champagne, slept deep and went out for breakfast. The best part? Mom doesn't seem afraid to do it again!

~~
So it's been full. I'm worried about Elliot and school. Worried that he's going to be labeled. Worried we've gone horribly wrong in our parenting. And then he does something so sweet, like sneaking into my room after he's been tucked in bed for the night to sing me a lullaby about my day. Then I smile, wipe my tears and think we've done ok by him after all.

Lullaby and goodnight
You are so very sleepy
You had a long day
You stayed home 
While me and Felix went to school.
We played outside
You came to get us
We came home and played with daddy
You went out for a meeting
and now it's time for sleep.
(to the tune of Braham's Lullaby)

My sweet, smiley boy.

~~

I’m posting this to enter a contest for a $500 apple gift card, offered by Cashier Live, a point of sale software company, at Indie Biz Chicks. Enter to win here. But don't... 'cause I wanna win! How awesome would this be for school?

Before and After

About 10 minutes before the "incident". See that wooden border, innocently hanging out in the background?

...it leaves a mark. 3 stitches for a 3 year old.

*Note: click here for the full story.

Eight down

One week left before summer vacation is over.

"The days are long and the years are short." Is a quote from Tina Fey's Bossypants (go read it, highly enjoyable!) It's attributed back to stay at home parents and sex trade workers. And it's very true.

What did we do this week? It's passed in a blur. I have to refer back to Facebook and my iPhoto to piece it all together.

It seems that Monday was an emotional and adventure filled day.

And Tuesday, well we hung around the house in the morning and then took the car to be serviced in the afternoon. Found a playground, essentially in the projects on the other side of the harbour. The boys loved it! I was anxious with the rougher crowd passing through and milling around, but that's just me being hyper-vigilant, as I'm wont to do. Felix did give me a scare, when I'd turned back from putting the camera away and saw him dangling from the climbing structure, his bare toes still a good 4 feet from the ground. He was having fun practicing 'gymnastics'.

Wednesday morning, Felix had a discouraging visit at the allergy clinic. We've been told to feed him whatever he wants. If his eczema flares, just treat it. Keep his body hydrated and his skin moisturized. That the family history, list of symptoms and random reactions don't indicate an allergy. Which is great news! But still leaves us back at the beginning. We're doing an egg challenge. So far, no reaction. Which means we have no idea what caused the full body rash, twice.

I promised the boys a new playground after the appointment, so we headed to a new-to-them one on the way home, chatting it up and building anticipation the whole way there. Well, that was disappointing.

They were only working on the border, not the equipment. But wouldn't let the boys play. Tears ensued.

So we went home, packed a picnic and headed to the lake. I braved it by myself but won't do that again soon, despite really wanting to go back! Felix is fearless in the water and Elliot is a limpet. They both had lifejackets, but needed an adult beside them, always. And then there was the whining. And the perma-injury mode Felix seemed to be stuck in, falling off the play structure twice and then skinning his elbow in the parking lot.

Thursday the sitter came. I sat in a cafe with goodies and free wifi then went shopping and met with the Registrar to discuss my school schedule.

Friday it was supposed to rain. Precursor to hurricane Irene, who was making her way up the coast. We watched TV, everyone on edge, then I tossed them in the car and we ran errands. It was stinky humid and then the sun came out, so we stopped at a playground on the way home. Felix was adamant that I watch his baby while he played.

Mmmmmm, Baby Banana Bread

Saturday afternoon we packed up and headed to a provincial park for family swimming. The boys fell asleep on the way there so we hung out in the parking lot for a while. Afterwards, we went for supper at Boston Pizza, where we tried to help a little girl who'd gone to the bathroom only to return to a table minus her family. Poor thing. Turned out well, but tense for a while. That night, a painting that's been on the wall for 8 years at the top of our stairs crashed down, setting off the security alarm. In the ensuing panic, while hubby and I shot out of bed, still asleep, I caught an elbow to the eye and now have a shiner. Delightful!

"Born to be alive!"

Felix swam out to the 100 meter mark. Parented.

Yesterday, Irene limped past. She was reported to be a good 558 miles off shore, so we got a smattering of rain and a bunch of wind. Would have been pleasant if not for the pressing humidity.

No idea what this week brings. We're all winding down, energy is dwindling and patience is wearing thin all around. But I should plan at least one more weekday adventure. And it's a long weekend coming up - and our anniversary - so we should think about that, too.

Missed every little detail of our summer vacation so far? Well catch up, already! Weeks 1, 2, 3, 4. 5, 6 and 7.

Rewarding

Elliot crawled into bed with me just before 7 this morning and exuberantly declared, "I love you mama. You're the most wonderful mama and you always do the best new things." He went on to add, "But I don't like looking at the TV when it's black." Way to butter me up, kid!

We left the house a few minutes early. I jogged the whole way to our first appointment, 26 minutes. (I haven't been on the treadmill in almost a week - had to fit a workout in somehow!!)  We went over the rules: Use your listening ears. No fighting. No yelling. No running away.  We went over the rewards: Fresh croissants at the French bakery next door. They were mostly well behaved while Felix had his treatment - that is to say, they were 125% better than normal. So we got pastries. Ok, they did. I had decaf coffee. Healthier.

We manuevered ourselves downtown, stopping at the baby store to pick up our free demo of all-natural bug spray and to get a gift for an expectant friend. Again a review of the rules and a new reward - this time: sushi lunch! They were 623498521% better behaved than normal.

We went to the library, again, reviewing the rules and reminding them about sushi lunch. They only chased the pigeons for a minute. They didn't run crazy. I only lost one child for a moment and he returned, apologetic. Felix grabbed the first book he found and sat down to "read" it while I got my books. When I went over to collect him, he wouldn't give up his book and wanted to bring it down to the children's section, where it was promptly abandoned for the play house. I apologize if any older child asked their caregiver what "Lust Confusion" was all about.

I was in another room, searching for a specific parenting book (Hold On To Your Kids, if anyone's interested) when I heard the cry that gives any parent the superpower of flight: "I have to POOP!"

Unfortunately, the cry should have been, "I'm pooping" as we didn't quite make it on time. Sorry kiddo, I know you love those Lightening McQueen underwear, but I wasn't bringing them home. As it was, all your spare clothes were outside in the stroller. You're lucky you mostly missed your pants, else someone would have been checking out the books bare arsed.

With minimal prodding and pigeon chasing, we made it out to the stroller and over to the bank and then sushi. They chanted "SUSHI SUSHI" with glee, as we rolled down the ramp to the food court. Only to turn the corner and see the place in darkness. A hand written sign informed us that the chef was ill with a very bad migraine. Poor dude. I've been there. But dammit, I promised sushi!!

We made due with tuna and ham & swiss sandwiches from the deli next door and got to sit in the fishie chairs. They forgot about sushi. And we came home, still smelling vaguely of poo.

Who were these children and how can I keep them? I loved our day today.

Happy Birthday, darling.

This is a place holder for Felix's birthday letter. We're traveling and, though I have internet access, these clowns haven't been going to sleep until 9 or 10 at night, at which point I'm also blind with exhaustion - and rage. Go the F*ck to Sleep is right!

So, until I get myself together, please enjoy these photos of my baby. Who is somehow turning 3 today. Not possible.

And while you're waiting on me to get my shit together, go catch up on the first birthday post, last year's letter and his really long-winded birth story!

The one where he wasn't there.

There's nothing quite as heart stopping as running through the aisles in a store, calling frantically for your child who is no where in sight.

We went to Canadian Tire to buy a tent last night. Because in order to take the boys camping, we need something slightly more spacious than the old 3 person dome, especially when children turn into starfish as they sleep. The boys were in full wrang mode, it was late in the day and we hadn't had supper yet. I ran into a coworker and we chatted for a minute, the whole time I had one eye on Mr. Felix, who was running full tilt to the end of the aisle. I saw him turn the corner, yelled my goodbyes and went to head him off by running down the next aisle.

He wasn't there.

He wasn't in the next one. Or the next one. Or at the automotive desk at the end of that corridor. Or in their stock room. My voice got louder and louder, the staff seemed to just look at me dumbly. I thought I heard a far off voice call, "I have him", but I was in panic mode and didn't dare venture too far from where I'd seen him - what if he was hiding, giggling, and about to run out the front door if I turned my back? Or what if I'd imagined it and dropped my guard, just in time for some nefarious bad guy to smuggle him out the building? Finally, a staff member came over and asked if someone had gotten away from me. Um. Yeah. So he started looking, too. And getting other staff involved. Finally I found Jay.

And Jay had Felix. He told me he'd heard me yelling and called out that he had him but didn't want to keep screaming through the store. So he let me keep yelling and get the staff involved, I guess. Thanks, hubs. I ran back up front to tell the guy we had him, and then went back for details.

Jay and Elliot were in hardware when Felix came marching down the back wall. Little stinker doubled back when I cut over to the next aisle. He ran straight down to the back wall and then took off towards the farthest corner (so, diagonal to me), when he stumbled over the rest of his family.

He's taken off in stores before. There have been other 'holy shit' moments. But this one was the longest, I think. And yet again, I want to get out the toddler leash and tie him to me.

Thank goodness he has such a forgivable face.

Birthday cupcake. Nom nom nom.

Potty Pity Party

Potty training makes me cry.

Seriously. I hated it with Elliot and am terrified of it now. Thanks, El.

Felix is registered in Elliot's preschool for September. That's 6 weeks away. But if he's not out of diapers, he can't go. It's a lot of stress and pressure on both of us. Well, on me since he doesn't care or even know what's going on. Realistically, he's not ready. But I'm pushing through. And he doesn't care, doesn't get it. Oh, he's excited when he goes on the potty, but mostly because he gets an M&M.

We're 2 weeks in. Initially, I was putting him on the potty every hour or so, letting him run around in underwear or pull ups - but we were going out a lot and he was mostly in pull ups (he loves them, doesn't like wearing diapers anymore). So I got lazy and he just went with it. Being wet or messy doesn't bother him. He often doesn't even recognize anything has happened - he'll get up off the potty and be totally surprised at the contents. Must have just magically appeared. The potty fairy did it.

Now I'm planning to spend the next 3-4 days at home, him pantsless, loading him up on drinks. I hope he catches on. I hate it. It gives me anxiety and I wonder if it's even worth it. But then I look ahead to another year of having them in different daycares and that makes me even more anxious. Coordinating multiple pick ups with different centre closing times in different directions just plain sucks. And, even more stressing, since I've already withdrawn him from his old daycare, chances are slim he'll have a spot again. And waiting lists can be lengthy. Ugh. UGH! In happy news - but also falling firmly in the stress camp if September doesn't work out - I got into my course! Skipped straight to second year, too.

So I spent this morning looking up various 3 day training methods online, most of them cost $$$ but my mind thinks maybe I just need to do that... but then I kick myself for being frivolous. Meanwhile, the livingroom looks like a kill scene from Dexter.

So I'm taking a break and emotionally stuffing my face and he's parked on the potty in front of the TV. Sure, the seat will catch anything, but the TV zombie won't notice a single thing, other than Elmo. I should really rethink this. I just need one breakthrough, one request to go to the potty, a smidgen of notice before he hoses the floor. Anything!

Ok, sage mamas and brilliant readers out there... what would you do in this situation?

One down.

So I'm patting myself on the back and pouring a stiff drink for making it through the first week of summer vacation together. The week was jam packed full of activities and outings, an attempt at setting a rhythm. And still, far too much TV. But hey - I was hung over that day.

Took both boys to a birthday party today. One of Felix's daycare buddies. The rotten weather forced us all inside a small room at the beautiful playground. The kids ran and screamed and tustled over the meager toy offering. Most of the other parents had a waaaaay more relaxed way of parenting than me. Very big on letting the kids sort it out themselves - something I'd love to do if all our altercations didn't end up with someone biting or shoving or bleeding. Of course, when it's my 5 year old wailing on your 3 year old, you change your tune pretty quick. Elliot has been all about break downs and baby talk lately. Makes me want to stab scissors into my eardrums. But I'm gritting my teeth, mastering the art of deep breathing and trying to keep my cool. It was just lovely today when someone commented on how tricky it must be having twins. Apparently Felix's height coupled with Elliot's emotional stuntedness puts them on par with each other. Oh we're rocking that look.

Felix doesn't want to let go of his 2s. Every day brings a new battle, a sustained piercing shriek of rage whenever things don't go his way. And face it, when you're 2-going-on-3, most things don't go your way. And apparently not at 4-going-on-5, either.

Monday I had to take Elliot to a follow up session with the psychologist who did the testing last year and determined him to be in the 99th percentile for cognitive development. And a year behind, emotionally and socially. We were looking to get him re-assessed before he hits school in September. But really, we can see the parts that have changed. And the ones that remain big pink elephants. He was playing with some magnetic blocks in the last few minutes. And they weren't cooperating. So they deserved a fiery death. And much blaming of me for breaking them. The psychologist said, "So dealing with frustration is still a problem."

No shit, Sherlock. My kid all but dented your coffee table with his frustration. Tell me how to fix it.

She offered a few suggestions, like giving him more words to describe his frustration, coach him through it, let him know it's ok, offer snacks or hugs or distractions until he's calm enough to re-attempt. Feels like we're slapping a bandaid over an exit wound, but we'll keep trying.

Despite this outburst, we've decided not to test. We can see where he is. If he struggles at school, we'll look at another assessment then. But for now, we'll just keep on keeping on. Besides, these sessions are $160 per hour. Increasing to $180 in August. Yep. True story.

Monday afternoon was cloudy, so we spent it in the backyard with a pile of books. And a clump of baby spiders that just wouldn't die, no matter how much gunk I sprayed at them. Oh no, boys, it won't hurt them. Only makes them sleepy so I can toss them in the green bin their new home.

Tuesday brought a trip to the library. The boys are finally starting to behave there, which is a relief. They both sit down, pull a stack of books over and just read. I love it. The deal is we have to go upstairs first, to get my books. Then we can spend the rest of the time in the kids' section.

We also went to the doctor on Tuesday, as Felix has broken out into spots again. And again, the verdict is "just a virus". But I have my doubts. We couldn't get in to see our regular doctor, but she saw us in the waiting room and came over for a minute. When she saw the spots, a mere 6 week after the last outbreak, she suggested allergy testing. So we'll go back to her next week for the referral. Will likely take months to get in to the specialist, but at least I'll feel like we're doing something, that all these elimination diets will be validated. Eggs are the most recent culprit. *sigh*

Moo

Ahhhh Wednesday. We took in the waterfront. Got (non-dairy) ice cream. Watched a million dead jelly fish float by. (Eeeew!!) Had a picnic lunch on the living roof of the Farmer's Market. Went to the playground. And that night, I went drinking. Only a bottle of wine between me and a girlfriend, but hooooo boy. It did me in.

Spent Thursday at home, eating bread. Hooked up a Netflix free trial and let the boys rot their brown little eyes. Tried to be adventurous by pitching the tent in the backyard for nap time, but it was too new and exciting and the road work across the street was distracting. I dozed while they tried to flip the tent like a hamster wheel. Yes, I was in it. No, they weren't successful. That time.

Friday we went to visit my mother-in-law who hasn't seen the boys in a while. They raided her husband's workshop and dragged miscellaneous lumber all over the yard, making roads and ramps that were quickly abandoned due to the heat of the day. We were able to take some of the pieces home, so now there's a stack of wood (still) in the back of the car, awaiting a home in our backyard. Good times. We also did necessities, like groceries. We can eat again! I love a well stocked fridge.

Since we got the Netflix, I also found a secondhand Wii to hook it up to the TV. Until today, the boys had never experienced video games. Holy crap, what have we done? They are maniacs. Now there's one more screen to limit. Though, it was cute to watch them learn how to use the controller as a steering wheel (the actual wheel is fickle and doesn't work so well...)

Since we're now (supposedly) home all summer, potty training Felix has begun with a vengeance. The first few days, I bribed with mini-marshmallows. A week in, he still doesn't get it. Still no mind-body connection. But I'll keep pushing, keep bribing. If he can at least get to the point where he realizes that he has other bodily functions than eating or spitting and that his penis can be for something other than pulling on, I'll be happy. More or less.

The latest bribe is a cutesy toilet full of M&Ms. He's awfully excited when he gets to pick one out, so maybe it will inspire becoming one with the pee.

Here's to another good week. Please. Imma gonna pound back a jello shot, rock some yoga and go to bed. I need my strength.

There's no place like home.

In this moment, I am struggling.

My course for September is full, without me in it. So now I'm wondering if this is fate. If I'm meant to be doing something else. Or if all the pieces will fall into place and I'll get pulled from the waitlist.

The boys are playing happily together upstairs right now, but no one is napping, which of course means mama ain't napping. (How sad is it that spell check recognized "ain't"??) Why is it always the day I need a nap the most that they simply refuse? My temper is already short. This isn't helping. I know their napping days are numbered, Elliot rarely does anymore. But my goodness, he really needed it today.

In addition to being a dairy and soy free family (and a caffeine-free mama who should also be sugar free) we are now supposed to be gluten free. This is intimidating and frustrating and leaves me wondering what we'll be able to eat. And hoping that we get to witness all the positive health changes quickly to make it all feel worth while. Felix has nasty eczema patches on the tops of his feet that won't clear up. He had specialist appointments last week - one for his hemangioma (it's fine, still wait-and-seeing) and another for his ears (which aren't fine - still full of fluid, despite no more ear infections since coming off dairy in March. Follow up in October, plus another hearing test. To their surprise, he passed the last one. I'm suspicious it's because Elliot was in the room too and might have been supplying involuntary, non-verbal clues during the testing). During both appointments, he pointed to his feet and told the doctor to check them because they hurt. Poor boy. We got some prescription hydrocortizone cream, which is proving to be somewhat helpful on the red spots. But now gluten's got to go.

Creamed for 5 days and still red and crusty.

It's faded so much! And lookit those eyelashes. He's such a beauty!

I  find myself snapping at boys frequently, with unrealistic expectations for their behaviour. Felix is in a run away phase. I hated it with Elliot and handled it badly, but convinced myself it was due to the post-partum depression and the fact that I had to cart around - or abandon - a baby to sprint after the runner. But no, I'm learning I just handle it wrong. I yell and threaten and grab at arms and plunk his struggling, screaming body into the stroller as punishment. He came stupid close to being hit by a car over the weekend. To the point he was actually touching the car when it stopped. (Not the fault of the driver, not really.) Another time he chased some pigeons out into a busy grocery store parking lot. Often he willfully runs away, though many other times he's just not paying attention. I think part of this comes back to those blocked ears. He's not paying attention because he can't hear properly.

Already today, I've snapped at Elliot multiple times, "When I tell you to stop touching something STOP TOUCHING it! Now." Doesn't matter what it is, the phone, computer, car, neighbour's car, the cat (I also told him that if she scratched him, I wouldn't do anything. He chases her and picks her up and teases her. She's old and cranky as it is. She has and will scratch.) And he's taken to shouting these things back at me, too... "Mama, I asked you and then I told you and now I'm gonna make you get me some ice cream!" *sigh*

I've misplaced my Cupcake book. Might be for the best, but I would like to find it. I searched Elliot's room in case he'd pilfered it, being enamored of it as he was. Nope. I hope it didn't end out at the Curb.

I'm looking forward to Thursday when we have a home visit from the Calm Parenting specialist. I'm hoping she can give me some tips and suggestions on simplifying our home to make things calmer over the summer. Because yeah, only 4 more daycare days between now and next week. Then they're both home with me for 2 months. Yesterday I was looking forward to it. Today I'm not.

Then again, today 'I'm not' a lot of things: energetic, caring, rested, coping. I would like to start over, please. Do they make ruby red slippers for that?

Beachin'

Our city holds a yearly Curbside Giveaway, where you can drag all your unwanted crap treasures out to the curb for anyone to find and claim. We participated last year, cleaned out a bunch of crap treasures and yes, brought some new crap treasures into the house - Felix's big boy bed, for example, was being given away by one of his daycare teachers.

This year, the day was bright and sunny. We piled the curb high with crap treasure - old monitors, printers, piles and piles of books, toys the boys no longer wanted played with (and that I didn't think the daycare wanted, either - they received a large bag from us last week!), Christmas decorations, old picture frames, candles, a legacy toy box that just took up too much space...

Then we hopped in the car and went down to the Farmer's Market. (Where I stocked up on soap for the boys' latest obsession with lathering themselves in the tub, and Rawthentic chocolates... o.m.g. I need willpower. Too tasty.) Each time we bring the boys we swear we'll never do it again without short pieces of rope to tie them to us. And muzzles. Maybe straitjackets. They go everywhere, touching everything, and smashing into everyone. All at once and usually in different directions. We have talks with them in advance, reminding them of rules and personal space and putting their listening ears on. But it's always a madhouse. I grew up in Farmer's Markets... I don't remember mom tearing out her hair or threatening to thrash us. But those were different times. It wasn't as crowded in our little town. And we were a bit older. Or I have a selective memory. (Note to self: call mom.)

We made it out of the Market alive but not quite sane and herded the feral cats boys to a nearby park with a play structure and some shade for a picnic. When we could finally peel them off the slides, we went for a looooong drive so they would just nap already.

We drove fairly aimlessly... 30 minutes in one direction, then back and veering off and circling around. We went down roads we hadn't been on in years. Followed one until it ended at a golf course on the ocean. When I started muttering, Elliot piped up from the back seat, "All roads have to end somewhere, mama!". Sage little creature. We meandered around until we ended up at a beach. And then the chaos fun really began! We were unprepared, so made due with rolled up pants... until those got soaked. You know you've had a wild time when you have salt lines on your thighs!

He promises me he was saving Felix, not getting ready to toss him!

Felix was challenged by the tides. He would splash out to meet them and run shrieking and laughing in with them. Then the water would rush out, sucking sand and rocks out from under our feet, knocking us off balance... I had to run interference so Felix didn't get swept away. Every time.

The tides were coming in, quickly. My boys made a wall to buy themselves some time. It was a valiant effort. But, predictably, an epic fail. There might have also been some burying of a small child in the sand, necessitating a speedy save when the area was flooded.

Had a gourmet supper of hotdogs and fries on a boardwalk and then came home, wiped. And saw that most of our crap treasures had been re-homed! Hooray for cleaning out the corners of our dangerously full basement and closets. And by that I mean barely denting the heap. Honestly, we may be about 3 piles and a candlestick away from falling under the hoarder classification.

We sure soaked up the sun, and I'll sleep good tonight. (You hear that boys - stay in your own freaking rooms, ok!) And hopefully we can do it all again real soon.

A good day

Until last November, there was a gas station across the street from us. Not having a car, we didn't really care about the proximity. But after they closed, we realized what a loss it was - no more dashing out at 7:30 when an empty milk carton was discovered after the cereal was in the bowl. Quick access to ice cream and popsicles on sunny days. Many a trip over for late night munchies. It is missed.

The boys excitedly watched the demolition, which took place over a couple of days. Hubby and I would cringe when the clangs and noises would continue on well past bedtime. And then we looked at the ugly, vacant lot and wondered how we'd ever get by without it. We'd gotten to be friendly with the owner. I made him a pan of fudge on their last weekend in business.

Now that the weather is warming up, we're finding some perks to having that eyesore across the street. It's full of graffiti and broken glass and bags of dog poop shoved into the old windshield washing station, but it's a mostly bare open patch of pavement, enclosed on almost every side by huge concrete buffers and fencing.

It's a wonderful place for the boys to practice riding their bikes. We'd gotten Elliot his helmet last summer and he could just touch the peddles of the low rider bike. This summer, he's gonna take the place by storm on hubby's old trike from way back in the day.

Elliot named this bike Starry, as it has stars on it.

We picked up a helmet for Felix this week so he could join in the fun. He can't work the peddles yet, but will excitedly propel himself along with his feet, proclaiming "I'm doing it BY MYSELF!!" And hubby helped him along by pushing it fast, too. (Wore himself out, he did. We're apparently sharing that old fat man. He's a wheezing, gasping machine.)

And this bike is now named Richart. WTF?

And it's close enough I can walk over with my mug of tea in hand. Ahhhhhhhh, nice. Today was a good day.

Coffee with mama

The many faces of Felix as we sat in the sunny window of a coffee shop. We shared hot chocolate and a tea biscuit. This kid cracks me up!

Naps Happen

A while ago I stumbled upon a great blog called Naps Happen. It's a hilarious collection of photos of the blogger's children in a full on nap attack, no matter where they were or what they were up to.

It's gotten me thinking about the boys' naps. They've generally been pretty good about napping, but that was one of the areas we were kinda anal about when they were smaller - we were slaves to the nap routine and made sure we were home - or somewhere else accommodating - at nap or bed time. But I was still able to find some adorable pictures of the boys. Aren't sleeping kids just the most precious things? So peaceful. So calm. Makes me wish it were legal to drug them into this state.

Merry Christmas 2006. And Elliot snoozes.

This lovey was forever named Nap Giraffe.

He's actually touching the cat - a rare occurrence, since she's such a beast.

This one breaks my heart a bit. We were attempting the CIO training method and he finally wore out, clutching the bars of his cell, waiting for me to come back.

This was a rough day.

An impression of Felix's ear after a nap in my arms - pretty much where he spent the first 7 months of his life.

There are numerous pictures like this. Note that even in sleep, he maintains the dino death grip.

Elliot went through a phase where he'd throw all his bedding on the floor and sleep there.

Felix wasn't really asleep. But he was pretending to be!

Double stroller nap - score!

Felix is such a ... boy.

Elliot got tired of waiting for me to get off the computer and come help him build (yet again) his new train track. And now he's a guest napper over at Naps Happen!

I wanna get in on the nap action, too! Of course, I usually have a cat on me. As also seen here. And here.

Sweet dreams, everyone! And stay warm - seems like there are major blizzards hitting all over the place today and forecast for the rest of the week. I wonder where you'll end up napping it out?