Killer instincts?

At just shy of 24 months, Elliot started daycare for the first time. He'd had group play experience before. His first day, he ran off to play with the toys, not caring if we were there or not. It took a week or 2 before he started showing an interest in participating in circle time or showing emotion - the teachers commented the first time he hugged them and when he started to laugh.

They asked me if he had social issues.

I signed multiple incident reports while he was in the toddler room - biting, hitting, pushing other kids. He'd pick on the little ones. The new ones. He was a modern day (and non-discriminatory) Georgie Porgie. He'd kiss anyone and make them cry - mostly by the rough hug that knocked them down.

Yesterday, when picking him up from the preschool room at the same daycare, the teacher voiced the concern that he's not showing remorse. Now, I don't know how much remorse a 3 year old can actually show, but I would think/expect that he understands when he does something he shouldn't (ie: hurt someone, deliberately) that he'll be in trouble and they'll be sad, but it's as if he doesn't even care.

Add to this the fact that he's been reluctant to complete potty training - his teachers are, again, concerned, because he either doesn't recognize the urge to have a bowel movement until it's happening, or he just doesn't care. He is about 90% accident free when it comes to peeing, but only about 2% of the time will he actually poop on the potty/toilet. Those times were accidental, I think.

So... how much of this is normal for his age range and how much is cause for concern/intervention? With the potty training, I don't know what to try next. Right now, we have a sticker chart going: for every 10 pees and 2 poops caught, we'll go shopping for a new puzzle. He's on pee 15, I think, but only 1 poop. I've started putting him back in pull ups at daycare on the days I suspect he'll poop.

I'm tired of it all. And I'm tired of his rough behaviour with Felix. Elliot hates Time Outs, but they're still not effective. And I hate that today, when I picked up Felix from his 5th day at daycare, they told me he was having issues with "rough hugging". He was knocking the kids down (and collapsing on top of them). For him, he thinks this is normal behaviour.

Gah! I know I've blogged about this before, but it's just such a persistent problem. And I must find an answer. I don't want my boy to grow up to be a serial killer.