Wednesday, March 30, 2011

19 pounds

Photo from Pound per Pound - go check out her blog for some impressive results!

So. Yep. I'm down 19 lbs total. And would be more if I'd actually exercised over the past month! Shocking, I know. I've been lazy. I've not tracked any of my food. I've pigged out on wine and sweets and huge helpings. But I've made a good dent - almost 2/3 to my goal weight. Eleven pounds left to go. The treadmill arrived and I've been trying to get a run in every other day. But it's stretching out to maybe once a week, especially given the latest run of barfies that have camped out at our place. (Elliot's been battling it out both ends for a week!! Ugh.) But the upside to the barfies is that I've lost another 2 lbs. And that's on top the water-retention week that visits once a month - we'll see what I'm down to in a few more days.
My FitOrbit progress.

I'm feeling good. Energetic. Except for the sleep deprivation and anxiety caused by a deep and frantic need to disinfect the whole house. It's giving me a tic. But I can shake it. I can do it. I also did some fundraising for Bust a Move for breast health over the weekend, about 12 hours before the barfies hit, so I hope I didn't infect everyone. I worked in the morning and went to the event late, but got to do some fabulous work outs (the boxercise one left me wonderfully sore for days). Paula Abdul was the celebrity trainer and she lead us in a choreographed routine. 

Random action shot during Bust A Move

I've made a few life decision changes, too. Remember over the supper when I got that crazy idea to go back to school, get my Bachelor of Commerce and go on to get my accountant designation? Yeah, that was a crazy idea. It was causing me waaaay to much stress. And so I reevaluated. I spent some time with my friend Allison who does life coaching and we tackled a few giant mountains that were blocking me in - mainly, my intense desire to please people and an equally intense fear of failure. The failure thing is a major issue with me. All my life, I've only ever wanted to be a mom. Never had any career plans. Never wanted to work. Just to have lots of babies and stay at home with them.

Well.

Postpartum Depression put a damper on that. I wasn't instantly good at as I'd expected to be, I didn't enjoy it like I figured I would and so I failed. And hated myself for it. And then floundered, wanting to create a new identity for myself but not knowing how to do it. I thought that the accountant designation would give me the confidence to get over that crisis. But that's not realistic. I don't want to be in school for the next 8 years, only to be starting out as a junior accountant. Or whatever.

I'm a bookkeeper. Have been for 10 years. The clients I have now want a bookkeeper, not an accountant. If they wanted an accountant, they wouldn't be my clients. I do need to upgrade my skills, that's a given, but I can do that at the college level. So I am planning to head back to school full time this fall, but in a smaller classroom. In a much more manageable and attainable manner. Now I'm starting to feel smart and back in control.

So things are coming together and melting away, I suppose. I'm holding out buying new clothes until 5 more pounds are gone. Though I'm having a hard time keeping my work pants up. Looks kinda sloppy. Maybe I should spring for one new pair? Could be dangerous, me being let loose in a mall. Still don't have my willpower back under control... one thing at a time....

11 comments:

Nichole said...

Some say the best thing you can do for yourself is to buy some new clothes WHILE you are losing weight. Not waiting until you have reached your goal. Clothes that fit make you feel good about your "right now body" (instead of feeling frumpy in clothing that doesn't fit). I say buy a new pair of pants. You'll feel better and appreciate the 19 pounds that are gone all the better!
Awesome job by the way! I bet you look terrific!
xo
~Nichole

Rainyday said...

You're a sweetheart, Nichole!
And hey - did you see that pic of Bailey from my last post? Thought of you when I put it up... :)

Nichole said...

haha-I totally did!
It gave me flash backs to the last time I clipped off her mats and she flipped out and ran around the house like a mad woman. Poor patchy Bailey! She needs help to get those hard to reach places :)

Alicia said...

Nineteen pounds is awesome. I'm jealous of your graph. I'm losing, but it's SLOW AS BALLS. It's really frustrating. My pants don't fit very well anymore, so that's nice, but it's just not a lot of WEIGHT. And I'm not exercising (how do you like the treadmill?), so it's not like I'm gaining muscle at the same time. It's baffling. And annoying. And I totally turned this congratulatory comment into my own story. Aweomse!

Rainyday said...

The treadmill is good. When I use it. Except it doesn't really fit in the livingroom. Add It's facing the wall, kinda parallel with the TV so it's hard to watch. And it's so loud I have to have the TV really high to hear it. Which kinda defeats the purpose of waiting for the kids to be in bed - sound carries horribly in this house. So I need some earbuds with a looong cable to plug into the TV.

You can do it! I had gotten myself a hypnotic CD from the library, it was soothing to listen to it. It was designed specifically for weight loss. It couldn't hurt to try, right? Maybe if you can have some quality time with yourself, things will change??

One thing I was actually amazed by was how fast the weight came off when I started counting calories. Turns out a 1400 calorie diet is much more conducive to weight loss than a 3000 one. Who knew! Sucks that I hate counting calories, though. I rebel a lot.

May said...

Fabulous! Left me anxious for an update to know how you are doing now on the weight loss, how is school and can you keep your pants up now?!?!

letmestartbysaying said...

Working hard towards being healthier, body and mind, is absolutely something to be proud of. Yay you! And it's easy to let Life throw you off track. But you figure it out and keep moving.
Awesome.

Jackie said...

I'm assuming since you linked up this post, you made your goal??

Rainyday said...

Thanks everyone! My biggest reason for linking this post on the Lightening Bug was because I was so proud of how I'd done. But, to answer your question, Jackie. No, I have not (yet) been successful in reaching my goal. I cam really close, within 2 lbs, and then packed 5 lbs back on. Which is where I am now. Discouraged. But in reading this post, I can find some inspiration and hopefully motivation to prod me back. I know where I want to go. I just need to get there.

Jenna said...

congratulations on your 19 pound loss!

Katie @ Chicken Noodle Gravy said...

What an inspiring post! Motivation is such a hard thing to find sometimes...but it looks like you found it and ran with it, not only in your weight loss but also in your life goals. Good for you!

Thanks for linking up with The Lightning and the Lightning Bug!

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