Friday, July 30, 2010

Insanity

Ok, peeps - I need your advice/suggestions. Or possibly for someone to commit me to the loony bin. Or maybe, simply, just to tell me what to do. Or hold me while I cry.

First thing to get off my chest - which is not what I originally sat down to write about - is an update of sorts. Maybe weaning off my meds just as Felix fully embraced the terrible twos wasn't such a bright idea. Or maybe it was a brilliant one - what better way to test my mental fortitude than by being presented with a child who suddenly won't sleep, who screams when he doesn't get what he wants NOW, and who has multiple and long-lived tantrums every day?

Tonight was no exception. Picture it: our bathroom, 8pm (laaaaate for us). Felix doesn't want to get in the tub: Screams. Thrashes. Limp noodle. Jumping bean - smash goes your face! Felix is in the tub: The water - it burns us! Felix hates it. It is terrible. See how it splashes? This could be fun! Felix loves it! This is the best. thing. ever. Felix doesn't want to get out of the tub: Screams. Thrashes. Wet limp noodle. Jumping bean - smash goes your face! Add in rythmic face/feet pounding. And a diaper. Mama needs a drink.

Anyhoo.... back to the original situation at hand. I've applied to go back to school. In September. In addition to a 12 week course I've already signed up for 2 afternoons per week for work. In addition to working , I dunno, 1-3 days per week. In addition to working on my bookkeeping business. In addition to being a wife, mother and homemaker. In addition to having friends and a (HA!) life.

I'd be starting a Bachelor of Commerce program with a major in accounting. Originally, I planned to go on to get my designation as a Chartered Accountant, specializing in Forensic (Investigative) Accounting. It still interests me, but I'm not as set on it right now. Getting my B.Comm is more important, for the time being. That's what will help my bookkeeping business and open other doors and opportunities for me.

But am I insane to be doing this now? Am I crazy to think I can juggle such a long laundry list of responsibilities? It's not a light commitment, not by any stretch. I wouldn't have to do the program full time, but so far I don't know what is available as far as course load and class schedules. It's a 4 year program that I'm trying to get dropped to at least 3, thanks to transfer credits due to my previous schooling and life/work experiences. I'm not trying to kid myself into believing I can get it done in those 3 years - but hopefully within 5.

Too many decisions. Too many balls in play. Too much room for failure. Tell me what to do!

I want my mama.

1 comment:

Beths said...

You can do it. It likely will not be EASY, but you can do it. I got pregnant with my oldest at the beginning of my second year of graduate school and had him at the end of that year. I was working half-time and was active in a bunch of research groups, etc. that whole time. Had #2 12 days after I graduated, at the end of 5 years. That whole time was crazy. We were soooo poor and so stressed and so busy, but I look back, and it seems like a piece of cake compared to the four kids in my house now. :) HOWEVER. If I were you, I might consider gettin' back on the meds. Heh. :)

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