Monday, September 12, 2011

Snippets

Let's see. Last week, Elliot started school and Felix started preschool. Oh, and I started school, as well.

So things have been busy 'round these parts.

~~
I have class 3 days a week. It's only 8 hours, but it's a 1 hour commute each way, if I take public transit. About 20 minutes if I drive and then another 10 or so to find parking. I haven't had enough class time to figure out if I'll do well, but I think I'm going to like it, which is something, at least. We spent the first class throwing stuffed animals at each other, learning everyone's names.
1st day. Thanks, hubby.

~~
Felix's stitch-saga continues. Last week, we went to have them removed. Yeah right. First off, we couldn't see his usual doctor. This new doctor was all, "It's too early to take them out." And, "If you don't let me take them out they're going to grow out of the side of your face." I held him down, the doc tried to tweeze and snip, Felix thrashed and screamed, terrified. Elliot climbed the walls and put things in his mouth. I was totally and completely frazzled. In the end, we got one stitch out. One - of three. He'd been promised a lollipop, because I knew they had them in the office. But then the doc said he didn't have any and I should ask at the front desk.

Asshat.

We did track down some lollies and went home, in the rain. And hopped right in the car to go to my mom's birthday dinner. The boys convinced her new husband to light the candles on the cake and sing happy birthday before the meal. And then we did it again, when the boys were watching TV, once the guests had arrived and after our meal. With 2 pieces missing from the cake. Good times.

Two days later, we went back to see yet another doctor. I was prepared. EMLA cream applied, to numb the area. A new Lightening McQueen bribe dinky car. A full jar of lollipops sitting on the desk next to him. A different way of holding him and a much quicker - and warmer - doctor wielding the tools.

We got stitch number 2 out. She said she couldn't see the third, that it must have fallen out. I pointed out a faint blue mark sticking out from the scab. She probed it, declared it residual dye and sent us away.

Yeah. The scab has fallen off, revealing very plainly, 2 pieces of blue thread poking out of his little face. I really don't want to go through that all again, but seriously, how long can he go around with surgical thread sticking out of his cheek?

*sigh* Back we'll go. But not this week. This week is full.
Cool dude.

~~
I'm hosting an open house here on Wednesday evening. I sell spices. The new catalogue is out. Good times. Of course this means I need to clean the place from top to bottom.  No idea how many guests will arrive. Oh the clutter and grime I need to banish. Daunting.

~~
Oh, and today we receive this note from Elliot's teacher:

Elliot is settling into classroom routines nicely.  He is following directions, listening to stories, enjoying centres and is doing well in terms of independent work. As I'm sure you know, he loves to read and reads well. He has enjoyed independent reading times and today's Book Buddies. Centres has gone well with him and today, he had a great time creating a drawing and even made one for his friend and put it in her mailbox. I know he is a very sweet boy.

Unfortunately, Elliot is having some difficulties during unstructured times outside. Recess has been challenging for him and he has been hitting other children.  He is not always honest about this behaviour when he is asked---even when a teacher witnessed him hitting other children with no provocation. Today, he grabbed and held onto a child's nose in the meeting area just as the children came in to sit down. Other than that, he has done very well in the classroom. Elliot is full of hugs for me and I've seen him hug other children in class. I don't see him frustrated and am wondering if you've been experiencing/witnessing this aggression as well?


Just perfect. This is on the heels of him being banned from gymnastics - by us, not the facility. But it was a close call. I looked down from the parental observation area to see him running willy-nilly, being chased by instructors and then he started hitting and kicking, running away, climbing tall-and-not-age-appropriate equipment. I had to chase him through the whole structure, arms full of our bags, squishing into the padded mats while he laughed at me and danced out of reach. He refused to participate in class and wanted to make up his own rules. Later he said he didn't like the crowd of kids. And then changed his story and said he didn't mind them, it was the new teachers he didn't like. 


Gymnastics isn't new for him. But half way through the last session, he started doing stuff like this, refusing to do the class, etc. We debated putting him back in - when he would participate, he'd love it. But it would often take 30 minutes of cajoling to get him out there, or he'd run right out, happy as can be and then start crying and balking and asking to leave half way through. Still, we tried it again. Shouldn't have bothered. 

He says there are older boys at school, in his class, who take his hat and toss it around, laughing at him. he says there's a bully who makes fun of him. He says that sometimes the play chase, just for fun. Sometimes it's not fun. Today he was throwing rocks. He scratched a teacher in the after-school program and punched another one. After he calmed down, he hugged the teachers. And then was fine, his happy, sweet alter ego. 


I hope his teacher has some insights. He told us tonight that it's not him doing these mean things, that it's 2 other boys who wear the same clothes as him, whose parents spy on him to see what he's wearing so they can match their boys. Imaginative, huh.  I think he's been reading too many Calvin & Hobbes comics. 


~~
The boys had their first sleep over this past weekend. Went to my mom's. It was awesome. Hubby and I drank champagne, slept deep and went out for breakfast. The best part? Mom doesn't seem afraid to do it again!

~~
So it's been full. I'm worried about Elliot and school. Worried that he's going to be labeled. Worried we've gone horribly wrong in our parenting. And then he does something so sweet, like sneaking into my room after he's been tucked in bed for the night to sing me a lullaby about my day. Then I smile, wipe my tears and think we've done ok by him after all.

Lullaby and goodnight
You are so very sleepy
You had a long day
You stayed home 
While me and Felix went to school.
We played outside
You came to get us
We came home and played with daddy
You went out for a meeting
and now it's time for sleep.
(to the tune of Braham's Lullaby)
My sweet, smiley boy.


~~
I’m posting this to enter a contest for a $500 apple gift card, offered by Cashier Live, a point of sale software company, at Indie Biz Chicks. Enter to win here. But don't... 'cause I wanna win! How awesome would this be for school?

Friday, September 9, 2011

Life is dumb

I kept a diary as a girl, like many. I suppose this blog is my grown up version, also like many. I came across one of my old diaries while cleaning the other day (labeled "Bedtime Stories", I guess to dissuade snoopers??) and thought I'd share a few pieces with you, Cringe-style! As I flipped through it, I was saddened by the angst I was expressing, the cursing, the hating, the self-depreciating and self-harming, the need to be loved, to have a boyfriend, to fit in. But I'm glad I had an outlet, the presence of mind to write it all out. Of course, reading it now that nearly 20 years have passed, I am cringing at my words and want to grab hold of that 14 year old and give her a big hug and protect her from the world, and herself. She obviously needed it. I remember I destroyed a couple of my early diaries, from when I was even younger. Those are the ones I wish I had... this teen drama is still all too fresh in my mind. I'm implementing FlashBack Fridays. Come cringe with me, typos and all!

Tuesday, September 20, 1994
**And 12 years later, Elliot was born!

DD,

I feel like shit, I wanna die. I'm in a fight with every-one. I want a hug. I want to cull curl up and sleep. I want to cry. I'm sick... my head is all stuffed up. I have to take some really big pills to stop my period cramps & get rid of P.M.S. Lucky.

School is ok. We get to go downtown at noon. K is still a gorgeous asshole. Dd is still cute... he stares at me in the hall. I haven't heard anything from or about M yet. Mom wants me to be friends with him. I don't know. I'm confused. Why don't guys like me? What's wrong with me? Am I really ugly or fat? I don't think I'm pretty or thin but my friends said say I am. But, like a friend would really put me down. Ha! That's my job.

I really want to die or something. Run away, lock myself in a mental hospital... Anything!

Life is dumb.

~Rainy

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

1st Day of School

On our way, yesterday. *sniff*

Monday, September 5, 2011

Mom Talk

I enjoyed the last one so much, here's a new installment of things I've caught myself saying lately... or at least overheard...I actually remembered to write some of the nonsense down in a legible manner!


Did you pee the boys?
Used between hubby and I whenever the other comes to bed to find out if the boys' bladders have been sleep-dumped.

Why does your voice smell like chocolate?
Hey! The air smells like chocolate!
Two separate conversation starters by Elliot. My only response? A muffled, "Why indeed, grasshopper?!"

Stop smacking that ham.

Get your penis back in your shorts!
To Felix, while walking with the boys in the stroller on a busy street.

If you poke me with that stick again I'll eat your croissant.

Hey! Stop licking knives!

Felix: Something in my bum's made of poop. And that poop's made of plastic.

Those doctors made me VERY angry!
Felix, going to bed the night of the stitches

No, that's 5 minutes for YOU, mama!
Cheeky Elliot, on being told it was almost time to go.

Do they know we're not ladies? How?
Elliot, in the ladies washroom:

Get that fork OUT of your NOSE!
To Felix, in a restaurant.

No, I don't want a knife in my purse. Especially one covered in honey.
To Elliot, in the same restaurant.

Felix, in a dark room at 5:30am, covering his non-bashed eye): When I cover my eye, I hear a boy. I hear a voice.
Me, trembling: What does the voice say?
Felix: I want a drink.
It's not just me, that tops the creepy list, right? Seriously, that shit freaks me out. Hubby and I went to a movie the other night (date night, first in a looooong time) and I nearly started crying at the trailer* for Paranormal Activity 3, and I had my eyes clamped shut for most of it. May have also sprained hubby's hand.**shudder**



*I haven't actually gone to that link or viewed the contents. Still too scared. Click at your own risk.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Nine down.

Well. Here it is. The last week of summer vacation, gone.

In the beginning, I was scared. Overwhelmed. Certain it would end in bloodshed and tears. (Well, it did, but not on purpose. More on that in a minute.) Half way through, I was pleasantly optimistic. This wasn't so bad! We were making it! I was rocking this full-time, stay at home parenting thing, a gig unseen since Felix was an infant. (And that only lasted 6 weeks, until out of desperation Elliot got carted off to daycare and I got some much needed medication.) Over the last couple of weeks, I've been mourning the end. September brings a first school year, change, growth. It frightens me. And enthralls. I can't wait but I never want it to get here.

Highlights of our rather low key (and TV filled) week:

Monday, the police showed up at the door, canvasing the street due to an attempted break in around the corner. The boys escaped like cats, out of the house the second the door was open and down the street. The officer called them back and thankfully they listened.

Tuesday -  I started a soup diet - a detox thing full of cabbage and vegetables, very filling but only 63 calories a bowl. Other than that, I have no idea. I've checked my email, iPhoto, Facebook... did you see me on Tuesday? Where was I? Were the kids with me? What were we doing?? Does anyone know?

Wednesday. The boys were running downhill at the playground. They had already done it once or twice when it happened. Tangled feet or a subtle shove or plain clumsiness... Felix was in front. He fell hard and fast with a sickening thud on the wooden playground border. Elliot landed second, half on Felix's legs, his head closer to my feet. If I'd been sitting 2 butt-spaces to the left, they would have landed in my lap and avoided the nastiness to follow.

From the angle and sound of the impact, I was braced for the worst. Scooping Felix into my arms, I clamped my hand down on his cheekbone where I thought he'd landed. He howled. Begged for a bandaid. I peeked under my hand and nearly fainted, sure that I was looking at bone. There was remarkably little blood for a head wound. But there was a gaping hole. I was terrified there would be loss of vision, broken bones or brain damage. He cried over and over that he couldn't hear me.

Our playdate arrived just then and my friend's navy husband took a look and very calmly agreed that yes, it was bad. I should leave Elliot with them at the playground and go straight to the hospital. I started shaking. Called hubby, told him to cab over to collect Elliot; my friend's hubby called a cab for me, poured some water to cleanse the cut, washed the blood off my hands. 

Arrived at the ER, and after a quick & dirty neurological assessment and an application of a topical anesthetic, we were triaged into "non urgent" and settled into a 3 hour wait. Hubby showed up with food. They called our name and we went into the back room and waited another hour for the doctor. And then another 45 minutes for new freezing to take effect.

Then they wrapped my baby in a sheet, pinning his arms to his body. A nurse held him down while the doctor and med student discussed the best way to proceed. I patted his head, held down his legs, repeatedly told him I loved him, I was right there, couldn't he feel my fingers? An aide stood at eye level, showing him a little movie on an iPad. It didn't help. He screamed and thrashed and pleaded. Begged them to stop. Demanded to be freed, to see his mama. I could smell my own sweaty fear as it filled the room. The med student did 3 shaky, slow stitches. Between the second and third suture, I hopped around the table, nearly pushing the nurse aside in my need to get where he could see me, but that released his legs too much, the student struggled to get the needle in. Afterwards, she brought him a popsicle and apologized, eyes glistening.

Thursday was a movie day. The sitter came so I could go to a few appointments and I rushed home. Took Felix to my chiropractor. We were both very tight, holding onto the fear and panic with our bones and tissues, but adjusted well.
Photo by Felix, silliness as I tried to distract him from the pain in his face.

Friday we used coupons to go to a new-to-us indoor play structure and cafe. The boys had a blast. Felix sweated his bandaid right off! We got groceries and then went to a provincial park, full of walking trails. We had sun on our faces and a salty breeze in our hair.




Saturday we went to the zoo.

Today we went out to breakfast. Tomorrow... who knows.

And Tuesday, well, Tuesday real life catches up to us and the boys and I will be growing up and putting on our game faces for school. Wish us luck!



Missed every little detail of our summer vacation so far? Well catch up, already! Weeks 1, 2, 3, 4. 5, 6 7 and 8...

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Happy Anniversary, let's go to the zoo!

Took the boys to a zoo a couple of hours away. They loved it. We're exhausted but everyone had fun. We even brought home the right monkeys! Happy anniversary, darling.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Breaking up is hard to do... or is it?

I kept a diary as a girl, like many. I suppose this blog is my grown up version, also like many. I came across one of my old diaries while cleaning the other day (labeled "Bedtime Stories", I guess to dissuade snoopers??) and thought I'd share a few pieces with you, Cringe-style! As I flipped through it, I was saddened by the angst I was expressing, the cursing, the hating, the self-depreciating and self-harming, the need to be loved, to have a boyfriend, to fit in. But I'm glad I had an outlet, the presence of mind to write it all out. Of course, reading it now that nearly 20 years have passed, I am cringing at my words and want to grab hold of that 14 year old and give her a big hug and protect her from the world, and herself. She obviously needed it. I remember I destroyed a couple of my early diaries, from when I was even younger. Those are the ones I wish I had... this teen drama is still all too fresh in my mind. I'm implementing FlashBack Fridays. Come cringe with me, typos and all!

Tuesday, August 30, 1994
Yep. Me & M broke up on Monday, August 22 at 9:35pm. He called me, and I told him I thought we should break up. He took it really good. Actually, I don't know what I expected him to do, so I don't know what is good.  Anyway, he said he'd been thinking about it lately. He asked if he could still call, I said yeah, of course. He hasn't called, and I really don't expect him to.

School starts in 1 week exactly. This'll be fun!

~Rainy
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