Friday, May 6, 2011

Gimme an O!

Points to Elizabeth! (And if you haven't checked out her blog yet - what are you waiting for! This girl is funny!) I loved reading everyone's answers to yesterday's question - underhanded compliments seem to seek me out. And I've done many a faux pas of my own... so glad I'm not alone!

I was reading this morning about another blogger's experience in the principal's office. Very timely, because we're headed there this morning.

Elliot isn’t in school yet (come on, September!!!), but his current preschool is concerned, as are we, that he’s going to be labeled in school and that it will follow him forever. His main teacher said that in her twenty years in the daycare/preschool/school system, she's only run into kids like Elliot a few times. And in most cases, things turned out badly. Elliot is an exceptionally bright kid (seriously, we’ve had him tested) but his emotional and social skills are lacking. We were advised to keep him in a program with children his own age so he could learn social skills, but that he needs to be intellectually stimulated or else he'd get bored and act out. He’s sweet and loving and happy, until he gets frustrated, whether is due to being challenged by an art project or a friend or whatever, then all bets are off and he goes feral, jumping on the closest outlet, fists swinging

Oy. There have been parent complaints. And many incident reports.

The preschool is worried that the public school system – even though we’re in one of the best districts in our city – won’t have the time or resources to handle him and that it will all go badly, quickly.
Hence the meeting today. And we’re waiting for a meeting with the director at a private school. ($$$$$ ouch, but worth it if he flourishes.) I'm even thinking about home schooling him, but that will do squat for the socializing part. And I reallllly don't think I'm cut out for home schooling. I was taught that way, for all of grade 1 and part of grade 2, and it was incredibly rough making the switch to public school in grade 3, when all of the cliques and lines had been set. I never did grade primary/kindergarten and I never did finish half of grade 2. My little brother maintains that he will always be smarter than me for that reason.

We've been reading books about spirited children and watching Elliot's diet to see what might be influencing things. (Chocolate/sugar is a huge factor, poor kid. The more frequently he has it, the more frequent the outbursts.) Hubby is recognizing many of his own traits and coping mechanisms being repeated in Elliot, the good and the bad. I guess this is what happens when 2 spirited children grow up, marry each other and start producing more children. For now, Felix seems spared. For now.

So, onto today's GMBOA question... we've talked about self-parenting but what is your parenting technique or style? Do you hover in the helicopter style? Are you free-range? Authoritative? Permissive? Has it changed as your children age? Is it the same style you planned on having, before you had kids? If you aren't a parent, how would you imagine yourself to be? Do you parent your pets?

Pssst: It's not too late to earn points on the previous questions - check them out here and here and respond accordingly. Make sure you're a follower over at the creamery and then you'll be golden!

3 comments:

Whimsy said...

I can't imagine that this answer is going to be remotely interesting, but here goes.

I'm probably more of an authoritative and hovering parent than I ever expected to be. I sort of envisioned myself as a free-range hippy parent, but now know that such a style is IMPOSSIBLE for me, given my deep vein of control freakishness. But I've also come to terms with my parenting style a bit: in that it suits Alice, with her allergies - she needs a parent who is hyper aware of her intake/output and who is vigilent about what she eats and touches out in the world. Plus, I figure that I'm going to be the mom that gives her GREAT parties and friend get-togethers because I'm such a perfectionist. I'm hoping that will balance the moments when I am driving her crazy.

Alicia said...

I am not at all the parent I envisioned. I thought I'd be like my mom because, well, that's all I knew. And my mom was awesome. Still is.

But no. I would like to be a free-range type parent, but like Whimsy, I'm just too WOUND UP or something. I have some hippie tendencies, I TRYTRYTRY to talk myself into more of the free range philosophy. And we were definitely very much attachment in the beginning.

The more kids you have, though, the less you can truly "parent." I don't know if this makes sense. It becomes more like crowd control. I mean, we have individual time with the kids, and we try to address them as they need to be addressed (dependent on their individual personalities, which are all very different), but you NECESSARILY become less concerned with that with a large family, out of necessity. I actually do like that about my parenting. I feel like I'm a lot more "let it go" than I used to be, because I have to. Even though I'm still a total control freak and yell WAAAAAY more than I'd like.

Elizabeth - Flourish in Progress said...

You know, I always thought I'd be a really cool parents. Pals with my kids...the kind that all her friends could come and talk to. Guess what? I'm not cool at all. I'm totally the authoritarian, and it really blows sometimes. I wish I could be different. Lay off a little or be more free range, but I just can't do it...I've tried for almost 12 years. It's not me!

It's so awesome that you are thinking about all the possibilities. Whatever style of parenting you do, the fact that you are so proactive about this just shows how amazing you are!

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