Monday, September 28, 2009

Agressive regression

Well, it seems that Elliot is regressing. He's always been aggressive - towards us, his friends, in particular towards Felix... even as a baby, Elliot would bite and hit. For him, it seemed to have an air of "What happens when I do this? Oooooh, I like to do this - I'm good at it!" about it. Felix has picked it up, despite efforts at intervention. But with Felix, it's more of a "Heeeey, this is normal!" attitude, especially when meeting new friends.

We worked hard with Elliot and had it mostly corrected by time he went to daycare. Then it came back, full steam. Felix was 6 weeks old, and really getting the brunt of it at home, but Elliot's classmates soon learned not to mess with him. It settled down after Elliot missed a week of daycare due to the chicken pox last March. Upon his return, he actually stared asking his friends if he could hug and kiss them, and they, finally realizing what Elliot was up to, eagerly stood in a line for some Elliot love! It was adorable.

As time went on, Elliot saw many of his daycare friends moving up to the senior toddler room. This meant that his room was filling up with newbies. Fresh meat! The pushing and biting started up again, but wasn't as long-lived. Elliot is now in the senior room. And guess what's back?! Jay had a quickie meeting with the teachers this morning due to some incidents that occurred last week - very deliberate pushing of his friends. And a repeat performance after a talking to from one of the teachers.

Elliot was very insistent at his birthday that only 2 little girls from his class attend. No one else. (Well, we managed to sneak in a few family friends...) And then at his party, he seemed to be on a mission to hurt them. Pushing, screaming, biting, kicking.... Time outs and warnings didn't help - he'd just start all over again.

*sigh* This parenting thing is hard. We try to teach by example, but then we set bad examples. We try to be consistent, but that never lasts. We try to offer unconditional love, but it's hard when it seems one child is dead set on harming the other. I know, I know, punish the behavior, not the child. It's a tricky line to walk.

1 comment:

Alicia @ bethsix said...

So so true. Who knew parenting was such a racket, man? :) But honestly, I had no idea what I was getting into. I don't think you can know until you're in it. Consistency is the hardest thing at my house, for sure. Makes me crazy.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...