Elliot crawled into bed with me just before 7 this morning and exuberantly declared, "I love you mama. You're the most wonderful mama and you always do the best new things." He went on to add, "But I don't like looking at the TV when it's black." Way to butter me up, kid!
We left the house a few minutes early. I jogged the whole way to our first appointment, 26 minutes. (I haven't been on the treadmill in almost a week - had to fit a workout in somehow!!) We went over the rules: Use your listening ears. No fighting. No yelling. No running away. We went over the rewards: Fresh croissants at the French bakery next door. They were mostly well behaved while Felix had his treatment - that is to say, they were 125% better than normal. So we got pastries. Ok, they did. I had decaf coffee. Healthier.
We manuevered ourselves downtown, stopping at the baby store to pick up our free demo of all-natural bug spray and to get a gift for an expectant friend. Again a review of the rules and a new reward - this time: sushi lunch! They were 623498521% better behaved than normal.
We went to the library, again, reviewing the rules and reminding them about sushi lunch. They only chased the pigeons for a minute. They didn't run crazy. I only lost one child for a moment and he returned, apologetic. Felix grabbed the first book he found and sat down to "read" it while I got my books. When I went over to collect him, he wouldn't give up his book and wanted to bring it down to the children's section, where it was promptly abandoned for the play house. I apologize if any older child asked their caregiver what "Lust Confusion" was all about.
I was in another room, searching for a specific parenting book (Hold On To Your Kids, if anyone's interested) when I heard the cry that gives any parent the superpower of flight: "I have to POOP!"
Unfortunately, the cry should have been, "I'm pooping" as we didn't quite make it on time. Sorry kiddo, I know you love those Lightening McQueen underwear, but I wasn't bringing them home. As it was, all your spare clothes were outside in the stroller. You're lucky you mostly missed your pants, else someone would have been checking out the books bare arsed.
With minimal prodding and pigeon chasing, we made it out to the stroller and over to the bank and then sushi. They chanted "SUSHI SUSHI" with glee, as we rolled down the ramp to the food court. Only to turn the corner and see the place in darkness. A hand written sign informed us that the chef was ill with a very bad migraine. Poor dude. I've been there. But dammit, I promised sushi!!
We made due with tuna and ham & swiss sandwiches from the deli next door and got to sit in the fishie chairs. They forgot about sushi. And we came home, still smelling vaguely of poo.
Who were these children and how can I keep them? I loved our day today.