Friday, October 28, 2011

Baby Lust: a vlog.

SO sorry for the delay!!! But here it is, my vlogging debut!

I kept a diary as a girl, like many. I suppose this blog is my grown up version, also like many. I came across one of my old diaries while cleaning the other day (labeled "Bedtime Stories", I guess to dissuade snoopers??) and thought I'd share a few pieces with you, Cringe-style! As I flipped through it, I was saddened by the angst I was expressing, the cursing, the hating, the self-depreciating and self-harming, the need to be loved, to have a boyfriend, to fit in. But I'm glad I had an outlet, the presence of mind to write it all out. Of course, reading it now that nearly 20 years have passed, I am cringing at my words and want to grab hold of that 14 year old and give her a big hug and protect her from the world, and herself. She obviously needed it. I remember I destroyed a couple of my early diaries, from when I was even younger. Those are the ones I wish I had... this teen drama is still all too fresh in my mind. I'm implementing FlashBack Fridays. Come cringe with me, typos and all!

Monday, November 7, 1994
*contains bad words and a destructive cat tail.

For reference: Kaleb Andrew and ShayLeigh. The hell?

Hubby always knew I wanted kids. Lots of them. The deal was, we'd start trying as soon as we got married. And so we did. I showed him this diary entry years ago and he was all, "Whoa, crazy chick." Yep, that's me. And then I did become a mom and got hit with the PPD stick and that made me even more crazy, in a different way. Parenting and stay-at-home-mommying didn't turn out like I'd imagined, but I also can't imagine life without our boys. Who have perfectly normal names. Not that Kaleb Andrew is bad... but ShayLeigh? Really??!

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