Run For Your Life!!

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Sickies

Don't know (yet) if it's strep throat or just a bad sore throat, or scarlet fever (strep with a fever & rash - it's going around at Elliot's daycare), or just "die off" as the yeast in my body finally gives up the ghost.... but I. Hurt.

Tonsils are swollen and nasty looking. That seems more than the simple "sore throat" listed in the die off symptom list. Why does this always happen on a weekend? Ok, ok, I knew yesterday, but with all my other appointments I didn't have time to go see my doctor for a throat swab (gag). The walk in clinics (all 2 in the city) open in 2 hours. Each are 30 minutes away, in opposite directions. This is shaping up to be an awesome day! Are you as excited as I am?

**UPDATE: 5pm: Yep. Strep. Joy.**

In boy news, Santa arrives at the mall today and so we've been thinking of taking them over for pictures. That'll be interesting. Here's last year's picture...

Christmas 2009

Lessons Learned

Apparently, shaking your head and stepping back are both signs that you want to get on the approaching bus and when you make no move to board said bus the driver will take it upon herself to yell to catch your attention and then lecture you on proper bus-declining etiquette.

Who knew?

I sure learned my lesson today. Thank you, #10 bus!

Also learned today - vitamin B shots BURN going in. Ouch.

And sitting in a greasy spoon diner eating a plate of eggs and hash browns by yourself while reading a book is relaxing and only costs $3.45

Gonna have a nap now. B12 is low and I found out this week that I'm suddenly quite anemic. No wonder I can't keep my eyes open for more than 7 minutes at a time. 3 full hours before I need to go pick up the boys. Sweeeeeet!

Scrub a dub dub!

So tomorrow, a professional cleaner is coming in for 3 hours - I bought an awesome coupon on one of those city-specific sites that are popping up all over the place. 

So this means I should probably put some effort into picking up the house, right? I want them to do the floors. Which means the floors should be visible, unless there have been some sensational advances in the cleaning industry since I last looked. Anyone know? Anyone?

Swampwater, day 5.

I went hunting for a scale last night, but it seems ours has gone AWOL. The last time I did a candida diet change, I lost 14 lbs in 2 months. Simply from changing the way I ate. I'd like to track my progress this time, but I don't think I should get caught up in the numbers. Not yet, anyway.

I found it this morning, in our room under a pile of clothes. 170. Eep!

But this time, I have my secret weapon, the aforementioned Candida Cleanse and added Herbal Fiber Blend. Picked both products up at my chiropractor's office, of all places. She has successfully used them herself and recommends them to her clients so frequently that she decided to bring some in to sell, instead of sending people to the health food store at the end of the street. 

Today is day 5. I'm still hanging in there. In fact, I haven't had this much success in the early days before. I'm crediting the Fiber Blend for working it's magic on my digestive system, cleaning and healing it and showing it how it can be full with only a normal size of food. And of course the candida pills and tincture, which are dueling with the yeasties currently kicking around in my body.

I've been having fun with my food - you have to when you're working with a limited spread. Supper the other night was Ryvita crackers spread with goat's cheese (a candida no-no, but I've learned in the past that I can handle it), mashed avocado, halved cherry tomatoes and fresh ground black pepper. Soooooo very good!

 
I'm also nearly 5 weeks into my No Caffeine Adventure. And doing great! I don't miss coffee and I'm not even having decaf. I've been drinking tea, but my go-to drink in the morning is a coffee substitute made by Bambu. It is made from rye, chicory, figs, acorns... (ok, I know I just lost a few readers!) But it's tasty. And hot. And dark. And it meets my needs of having a mug of richness in the morning.

In other news, we had our first snow overnight! When I brought the boys downstairs, I told Elliot to go look out the window. He did, and seconds later there came an exuberant cry of "SNOW!!!!!!" He's been asking for weeks when it was going to be winter. Ever since Halloween.

Have a bunch of errands to run in it today, so that should make him happy. (Well, not the errands themselves because one of them is a doctor's appointment where he's gonna get an immunization. Shhhhh.) But it's drizzling now and I don't expect the snow to be down long. What little of it there was is fast turning to slush and running away.

Going Yeast Bustin'

Ok, I did it. I've been talking about it forever and have tried it - unsuccessfully - many times in the past. I've made it 6 weeks on the Candida Diet previously before the sugar craving put down it's mean little foot and slapped me silly for even thinking I could go sweet free.

But this time, I have a secret weapon. And a plan.

Yeast overgrowth in the body can cause so many things, from fatigue to all over body aches, to constant itching - and not just in the girly bits. During my last half-hearted attempt, my naturopathic doctor told me that since my body was so broken, it would take at least 6 months of being off of sugar, dairy, wheat, yeast and alcohol before it could start to heal itself properly. That's a depressing statement. But I fully agree with her.

This time around, I'm going a more direct route - a 15 day cleanse, complete with powders and pills to take twice a day. 

And to make it even more wonderful - and effective - I'm also taking a fiber supplement twice a day.

Bottom's up! Wish me luck.

It's only 15 days. I can do it. Just take the supplements and stay away from sugar and everything else on the huge list on the fridge.

Baking with the Boys

Today we made gingerbread cookies and pizza dough.
The cookie dough ended up dry and crumbly, so I had to improvise and add some warm water to make it roll-able. Worked like a charm, so now we have a collection of dinosaurs, moons, dogs, cats, bears, hearts and stars cooling on the table. Smells divine!

The pizza dough was more fun. After the basic mixing and rising, punching down and re-rising, I turned it out on the table with more flour and kneaded it until it was very soft. Then split it into two balls and gave one each to the boys.

Now the dough is rising for a third time, and will soon be rolled onto a pan and topped with a hearty mix of sauteed onions, garlic and peppers and some soy pepperoni. And maybe some pineapple, if it hasn't turned.

In a few more weeks, we'll start Christmas baking in earnest. Sugar cookies, fudge, chocolate bark, cheesecake, squares, pie... Mostly to be given away, of course. Before I sneak down at 3am to gobble it all up like the Grinch.


Oh, and in case you were wondering, yes, I still have my fingernail. I call it my cityscape, see:

Or an erupting volcano...

Woe is me, I'm so woe...

You know, some days, some people really shouldn't be parents. Like me. Today. Why is it such a trial? Yes, they're being more insistent than usual, yes they woke up earlier than usual, but most of it is my own reaction. I want to yell, to punish, to make them just freaking LISTEN!!!!!! I caught myself a few moments ago in the kitchen, staring wistfully at a bottle of Tanqueray gin high up on the cupboards. Somehow, I'm certain that there's no way to justify a drink before 8:30 in the morning.

I'm reminded of a few weeks ago when my mom was visiting and she watched the boys while I went to some appointments. She cleaned, of course, which instead of making me feel grateful, usually makes me feel small and incapable. I appreciate it but wish I had the drive/energy/ability to take care of the house myself. Afterall, it is my job.

She mentioned, casually, that she'd noticed an awful lot of bottles of booze around the house and was I having problems? Bewildered, I looked around. Saw 2 bottles of rum, the gin, whiskey, some baileys, wine, fun mixed things in the fridge..... um, no - no problems here. Yet. We don't have a liquor cabinet or shelf space to hold it all where the boys can't reach it, so it's tucked here and there. But maybe it's not a good idea to have all these spirits so easily accessible - to me.

Because the way I feel right now...  only mass amounts of chocolate or alcohol are gonna make me feel better about my abilities. Or maybe a massage. A spa day. A day away from responsibilities. Oh wait, I had that last one for most of yesterday. Didn't help.

Good riddance!

Would someone please remind me the next time I say I'm gonna take the boys on an outing myself, that I should bring along a leash and a taser? Thanks!

Really, it wasn't that bad. The sun was out for the first time in a week today, so we went to the playground. Jay stayed home building our bed. (More on that later...) They ran off lots of energy, we had fun. Then Elliot filled his hat with rocks and the boys brought me up the Stairs of Doom. Jay's gone up with Elliot before. I never have. And I won't be going again if I can help it. It's a flight of stairs 3-stories high on the outside of the elementary school just up the road from us. It's a steel frame of some sort and you can see through the whole thing. See - have a look for yourself:

Not even at the halfway point...

I have mild panic attacks when walking on a flight of stairs in a house that don't have a back on them. Now here I am, hoofing it up the stairs after my brainless fearless boys. Half way up, I figured I was going to have to call Jay to get him to come rescue us me. Elliot made it to the top and started dropping the rocks from his hat through the grid, one by one. Felix started dancing. I started hyperventilating. Oooooh the vertigo. I had no sense of security. We were all gonna die.

Eventually and verrrrrry carefully, we started back down. Elliot sat on his bum and bounced along. Felix walked down 4 steps then turned and ran back up to the top. I swallowed my heart and ran after him. I had to carry him down to the halfway landing. By then, since we were closer to the ground, I felt more in control.

We needed eggs, which was the second part of our outing, but the boys hadn't brought their listening ears. After they started running away in opposite directions, I nixed the idea of going 3 blocks further to the convenience store and instead crossed into the little mom & pop affair opposite the school. And man, you'd think those boys had never been in a store before. They ran in whooping, touching everything. When I turned to put the eggs on the counter, Elliot opened the freezer and grabbed an ice cream bar and was starting to unwrap it. Then he took down all the signs on the door while I paid. Felix cheered him on. Unreal. They've never been so wild in a store before. Ok, not for a while, anyway.

Jay's been working on the new bed frame alllllll day. Which is good, since the mattress arrives tomorrow. But that meant I had the boys all day. And by bath time, I was very grumpy. I have an assignment for school due tomorrow that's only mostly finished and I should be working on it right now, but I can't concentrate.  My back hurts. My computer is above the workshop in the basement where Jay's blasting music and sanding and swearing when things go wrong. And it's Thursday night which means my shows will be on soon. And I'm thinking about the old bed, which is currently in the front hall, awaiting removal in the morning.

The boys were conceived in that bed. (Well, Felix was. Elliot might have been in the shower.) Jay and I first whispered our "I love yous" in that bed. I laboured long and hard on that bed, twice. Spent the boys' first years in that bed.  Lots of memories. But you know what? It's a CRAPPY bed! It hurts. I rotisseried myself in it, night after night during both pregnancies trying to find a spot that was comfortable for more than 10 minutes at a time. It was cheap and thin and sharp and I'm glad it's leaving. So long, old friend, but we're moving on to a fresher, better model.

So there's no bed in our room right now. I'm sleeping in Felix's room and Jay will take the couch. How romantic! *Hopefully* the new frame will be done so we can sleep in the new bed tomorrow night. Fingers crossed!

And on a different note, lets end our evening with a little musical entertainment, shall we? Give him a few seconds, he was a bit camera shy at first...

Rain. Day 7.

Well, many parts of the province have pretty well floated away. It's been raining steady for a week. Today we got a bit of a break and the drizzle stopped around 11. Stayed gray and windy all day, though.  During the first 3 days, we got a typical month's worth of rainfall. So much flooding and damage. Several bridges and many roads have been washed out in my hometown. Scary.

 Tina Comeau, photo

Aaron Pothier, photo

Aaron Pothier, photo

 

The boys are going batty. Took them out puddle jumping yesterday. Their raincoats were still soaked this morning! Luckily, I'm still off caffeine so I'm mostly in control of my impulses and able to deal with the stir crazy testosterone around here. I think. Though I did lose it on them around supper time yesterday. In my defense, I'd had crappy sleep the night before and 2 needles - flu and tetanus shots - that morning. I still wish I hadn't yelled.

We went shopping last weekend - bought what we went for, but it still added up to $$$$. Got a brand new 1620 coil count mattress with a memory foam topper. (Apparently, the coil thing is good - standard bed have around 800, she said.) It's a queen, firm, cozy. Hasn't been delivered yet. (Boooo! 2 more days...) We can't fit a queen box-spring up our steep, narrow staircase. And a queen split - 2 smaller box-springs - was an extra $300 on the cost of the set. Yipes! The current platform we have sucks. It's old and creaky and the slats slip back and forth and stick out the sides and we bang into them. So, Jay's building a new platform for the mattress. Not sure how the logistics of new bed in, old bed out will work since the platform won't be ready when the new bed arrives. We'll see.

We also bought a new portable dishwasher to replace the freebie we got on the side of the road last year. Yay for efficient dish-washing not being done by me!

Elliot's entered another aggressive phase. On Friday, Jay came around the corner from the kitchen and saw him stabbing Felix in the head with a plastic pen from their magnadoodle thingy. Nearly broke the skin, Felix had a good bruise. Jay said it was vicious. Later that day at preschool he got mad at one of his friends and bit him really hard. Didn't break the skin, but a full impression was still there at the end of the day. Plus he's always (and almost unconsciously) hitting and poking people as they walk by. The other night he told me to put the food in my butt when I told him to put it in his mouth and eat his supper.

And Felix, well, he's 2 and he's showing it. Every choice, every offer, ever question, every request is met with screaming. He sounds like a schizo pterodactyl.  Bedtime is an issue. Naps are fine, but bedtime. Ugh. It took 75 minutes to get him to sleep tonight. I'd tuck him in, two minutes later he'd be silently standing in my room, staring at me until I wordlessly took him back to his room.

On writing

So yes, November is here. Three days in to the NaNoWriMo. So far, so good. I'm writing. No idea if it's any good, but I'm writing. It's been years. I miss my English classes in high school, where the poetry vibes and short story ideas never seemed to run dry.

I have no shortage of ideas, that much remains the same. There are at least 2 partial novels tumbling around in there right now. I just wish I could crack open my skull and pour the word out onto the pages. When I sit down to write, things lose context. I ramble, lose threads, get hopelessly tangled. Just stuck on description. Forget the gist.

When I started writing on Monday, I got about 800 words in and hated it. The plot is weak, but I knew where I want it to go. But there's no point to it. I couldn't figure out how to make it all matter. Plus, it was coming out like I was a simpering idiot. So I gave up and turned to another idea I've been thinking about for a few YEARS now. Rather quickly, I had 1800 words. Fantastic! 100 words over my self-imposed daily limit! Go me!

Sitting down to write after the boys were in bed last night, I discovered that 600 words were gone. Erased. Eaten by the computer. WTF? Did I get so used to the auto-save feature from blogging that I actually didn't save it? But then, who closed the file? Who selected "no" when asked if they wanted to save the changes? Couldn't have been me. I may have been drinking more and sleeping less and eating boatloads more sugar than usual, but you'd think that would have been a clue. Right? RIGHT?

Do I blame the boys? My mother, who was visiting and watching them for the day? The cats?

Ugh. I so wanted to give up then and there. I couldn't stand the idea of re-writing those measly 600 words. But Jay encouraged me, cheered me on, and I did it. And you know what - I like the direction the story then went in even better now!

I'm having a hard time with character names and the setting. I'm trying to blend what I know and what's familiar with fiction. How can you write about a sadistic child killer when it's set in your own neighbourhood? How can you write steamy sex scenes when your mother - or mother-in-law - or the daycare teacher might someday read it? I've always been hung up on what people think of me. If they're talking about me. Yes, I'm paranoid.

I'm not well traveled.  I can't just make facts up. I'm going for authenticity here, and that means I have to use places that I know in a fictitious manner. What an unexpected concern.


In boy news, I took them to a walking path yesterday afternoon, since they were both climbing the walls. In hindsight, they were also super defiant, so freedom may not have been a good choice, but they needed a good run.

They found an awesome climbing tree. We played for a while and then I tried to entice them home with promises of tea and cookies. Well, that didn't go over well. They ran in different directions, laughing manically and shouting that they were going to run away and hide. Which they did. Since we were close to a very busy street at rush hour, this was alarming. I did manage to round them up, like herding cats - I'd get one and the other would disappear -  and Felix spent the walk home riding on my shoulders (my arms went numb) and I had a death grip on Elliot's arm. And we didn't have tea or cookies. Boo.

Before the mayhem, I did manage to snap some fun pics with my phone!