You know, some days, some people really shouldn't be parents. Like me. Today. Why is it such a trial? Yes, they're being more insistent than usual, yes they woke up earlier than usual, but most of it is my own reaction. I want to yell, to punish, to make them just freaking LISTEN!!!!!! I caught myself a few moments ago in the kitchen, staring wistfully at a bottle of Tanqueray gin high up on the cupboards. Somehow, I'm certain that there's no way to justify a drink before 8:30 in the morning.
I'm reminded of a few weeks ago when my mom was visiting and she watched the boys while I went to some appointments. She cleaned, of course, which instead of making me feel grateful, usually makes me feel small and incapable. I appreciate it but wish I had the drive/energy/ability to take care of the house myself. Afterall, it is my job.
She mentioned, casually, that she'd noticed an awful lot of bottles of booze around the house and was I having problems? Bewildered, I looked around. Saw 2 bottles of rum, the gin, whiskey, some baileys, wine, fun mixed things in the fridge..... um, no - no problems here. Yet. We don't have a liquor cabinet or shelf space to hold it all where the boys can't reach it, so it's tucked here and there. But maybe it's not a good idea to have all these spirits so easily accessible - to me.
Because the way I feel right now... only mass amounts of chocolate or alcohol are gonna make me feel better about my abilities. Or maybe a massage. A spa day. A day away from responsibilities. Oh wait, I had that last one for most of yesterday. Didn't help.