Dear Felix

Today, you turn 2. How is that even possible? I love sitting and watching you play and interact with your surroundings. You constantly surprise and amaze me with your comments, actions and abilities. I keep thinking of you as a baby. Thinking that you aren't able to do the things you do.

The other night, you amused yourself for almost half an hour stacking some little square blocks. At first, when they'd fall down, you'd laugh and then scoop them up and start over. By the end, you were getting frustrated and would yell at the heap and then start stacking again. (This is a far cry from your brother who might make a second attempt and then if that didn't work, well, then the offending item would be scattered around the room while he spat and hissed and cussed at them all.) When it was time to go upstairs for a bath, you cried, because you were having fun, trying to master the tower.


You've been having trouble getting to sleep at night lately. You've always had to have someone sitting with you. For a while, recently, daddy would read a book by the window on the other side of the room and had you almost used to falling asleep on your own. But then your little brain caught up with that fact that you were nearly 2, and started whispering terrible suggestions, or something. I've been sitting with you the last few nights and you've been tossing and turning and tooting and sighing... I get sleepy and start to doze off before you do. Then you pop out of bed and crawl up next to me and we start the process all over again. (With the added bonus of pinwheeling over my head) Last night it took 90 minutes before you were out.

6 months

You're a sensitive boy. Elliot knows that if he yells in your face, you'll cry. This breaks my heart on so many levels. It hurts to see your mouth tremble and the tears start falling. Sometimes you yell back. And sometimes, you yell in just the right pitch and it makes Elliot cry and say you've hurt his feelings. I'll never tell you, but I'm proud of you in those moments.

1st birthday

You're also a little ham. You love to dance and sing. You love laughing. You'll make a funny sound or animal noise or say a new word, then you look around and giggle at yourself. Boy do you ever love to jump! On the trampoline at daycare. On Elliot's bed. On my bed. On the couch. Even on non-bouncy surfaces: you jump in circles all around the house.

19 months

You love to eat just about anything. The other night, you finished your dish of shepard's pie before I even got mine on the table! You ended up eating 3 servings. I love giving you peanut butter on toast and watching you eat it flat up against your face, topping first.

Elliot taught you how to blow bubbles in your milk and now you refuse to drink any without a straw. You are such a little brother. Everything he does, you have to do. Many a cry of "My turn!" and "Me too!" are heard these days.

2nd birthday

You don't like to hold hands when we're out walking, but you do pay close attention to the rule of always holding hands when crossing the street. If we hold hands too long, you yell "No hands. Self!"

You tell everyone that they have a hemangioma on their forehead and pat the invisible spot where theirs is. Sometimes, you absently squeeze yours, like a security blanket. In the last few weeks, you've started pulling on your neck as a comfort measure. It started off just at bedtime, but now you do it at random times through the day. At first we thought you might have a sore throat, but no - you just like the feeling, I guess. Please don't grow up to be into fetishes that require wearing a collar.

You call a helicopter a 'cop-cop' and a 'cop-tar'. All cats are named "Melon" or at the very least "Catttttt!!" - then you meow. You call vitamins 'puffs'. If you hear a strange noise, you proclaim "Sound!" while looking wildly around. You violently yell "MY work" or "MINEMINEMINE" if there's real or imagined sharing about to be had.

You give really tight hugs. I love you, sweet crazy boy!

You are my sunshine,

Mama