Friday, June 10, 2011

I will always remember...

I kept a diary as a girl, like many. I suppose this blog is my grown up version, also like many. I came across one of my old diaries while cleaning the other day and thought I'd share a few pieces with you, Cringe-style! As I flipped through it, I was saddened by the angst I was expressing, the cursing, the hating, the self-depreciating and self-harming, the need to be loved, to have a boyfriend, to fit in. But I'm glad I had an outlet, the presence of mind to write it all out. Of course, reading it now that nearly 20 years have passed, I am cringing at my words and want to grab hold of that 14 year old and give her a big hug and protect her from the world, and herself. She obviously needed it. I remember I destroyed a couple of my early diaries, from when I was even younger. Those are the ones I wish I had... this teen drama is still all too fresh in my mind. I'm implementing FlashBack Fridays. Come cringe with me!

Saturday January 1st, 1994


Well. Happy New Year. It is 12:28 am. I will always remember 1993 as my 14th year. (Duh!) A year of many crushes. First J, then K, then (sorta) E (NOT!), then J, then J, then J, then A, then N, then finally M.

1993 was the year C bounced off the rings in gym, the year of my first kiss, my first prom date. It was the year I found K passed out on the floor and the year I quit my first job. I will always remember it as the year I got my second and 3rd earring holes done, dyed my hair blue (for Halloween) and then purple (yesterday, for fun) and also the year I pierced my hand. (Edit: The webbing between my thumb and index finger. Particularly dumb since there's a major vein there...) I did it myself Thursday night with a safety pin & ice. Now there's a diamond stud in it. But most of all, 1993 was my year for first love. I love M so much. I know it won't change. Not for a long time.

My new years resolution is:
1. Stay with M forever & ever
2. Get another job
3. Get in shape; exercise; lose weight, as much as possible

1993 was also the year my 2 best friends moved away.


Saturday, January 22, 1994


Exams have started. I wrote English yesterday and I got Social Studies on Monday.
M has come over for the past 2 Saturdays.
R came up this Saturday. Last night, we dyed my hair. The dye was called burgundy but it came out more magenta. I love it!
The earring fell out of my hand. It was in for 3 weeks & then the skin around it died. Oh well.

Anyway, gotta study!

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